Self Indulgence
by justagirl8225
Summary: Things aren't always as perfect as they seem...
1. Guilty Pleasures

**Self Indulgence**

**Disclaimer**: I own no person, place or thing mentioned. The persona's are property of Vince McMahon and the WWE, people own themselves. I'm just borrowing them for a little torture that I like to call, fan fiction.

**Spoilers**: Feh, no.

**Rating**: R for explicit content and language.

**Summary: **Things aren't always as perfect as they seem…

**Notes:** For this story, no Lita isn't out with her injury, and I'm ignoring the 'marriage' angle with Kane…I'm well aware that she is out on injury right now, but that's why this is fiction, not fact. Will there be a sequel for this? An epilogue? Probably not. Three parts or so to the finish. I still hope you enjoy…and please review.

………………………………...

There were exactly two hours and fifty five minutes before Monday Night RAW kicked off. And of course, this year, the WWE had to do something extra special because RAW fell on Valentine's Day. But, that only mattered if you were actually involved romantically with someone on Valentine's Day…and in the redheaded Diva's case; she was not. She didn't really care about that fact though, in all truth she was beyond caring if she had a sentimental sap willing to splurge on roses that would wilt and chocolates that would more than likely sit untouched. It was no lie that Lita hadn't been lucky in the love department, sure she had Matt…she had Christian. Had being the key and operative word. Past tense, no more, a buried part of her that she had no urge to unearth. Which was why she arrived to the arena alone, declining the offer from Victoria to hitch a ride with her and a subsequent offer from fellow North Carolinian Shane Helms. All the redheaded Diva wanted right now was to be alone, not to take pity on herself, but just to be alone. And that meant arriving early to the arena. Granted, most of her colleagues would show up within the hour, most everyone showed up early to either work out in the arena weight room, jog around the hallways or practice in the ring.

And that was when she saw them.

Lita had just exited her assigned locker room for the night, red locks tied back from her face in a ponytail; her body clad in track pants and a tank top. She, of course, was on her way to indulge herself in a short jog around the arena, followed perhaps by some time in the weight room. She saw them standing at the end of the hallway, the one thing separating herself and the main corridor. How ironic. They were the epitome of the perfect couple. Everyone said they belonged together and now they were together. They being none other than, Randy Orton and Stacy Keibler. But if only they knew…if only the rest of the world knew. Things aren't always as picture perfect as they seem. Hazel orbs fell on them evenly, her face sporting it's usual mask of indifference. And mind you, Lita wasn't jealous of what the two had. She wasn't jealous that every time Randy said something remotely funny, Stacy would break out in a fit of school girl laughter. Nor did she wish it was herself in Stacy's place. A part of her did envy them, Lita was only human after all, and it was in human nature that she would feel a twinge of jealousy. But then, she also had no reason to be jealous.

A reason that she and one other person knew.

She offered her best and brightest smile when she passed them. Indulging the tall blonde, listening on patiently as Stacy gushed about the romantic things that Randy had done already. Lita smiled when Stacy went into detail about the roses and the card. She even had the decency to blush when Stacy hinted at what they had planned later. And, Randy of course, stood there off to the side…playing it off to nothing like he should. She was happy for them, or so it seemed. And it would seem that Randy was happy too. Which was why, when the redhead bid her temporary farewell, she and the Legend Killer exchanged a look before she disappeared around the corner. A look that meant one thing, and a look that always went un-noticed by Stacy. And no sooner had that look passed did Lita go.

………..

An hour had passed, and after her jog, Lita was sweating; she skipped out on the trip to the weight room. Instead heading back to the solitude and sanctuary of her locker room before the pre-show meeting started. Since her previous run in with the perfect couple; she had passed by Lillian and Evolution's animal exchanging sweet sentiments in a corner and Victoria and Chris exchanging those stupid little candy hearts. She hadn't stopped to chat with them though, those were private moments that the redhead didn't want to intrude on. And aside from that, if Stacy hadn't initiated the conversation, Lita would've walked past without a word. The redheaded Diva let out a sigh, stripping down and wrapping a towel around her as she made her way to the showers. She realized that she had about ten minutes to shower unless she wanted to show up to the pre-show meeting in her towel. Not her ideal situation but she really didn't want to show up all sweaty to the meeting. So instead, she kept it short, hot water easing some of the tension in her recently worked muscles. And once she was at least clean and sweat free, she shut the water off. The towel she had brought, wrapped around her body again. The redhead heard the knock at the door the moment she stepped by her locker. But, she really wasn't dressed to receive any visitors right now, so instead of allowing the caller entrance, she merely told them to go away. As she had expected, it was Lillian, Victoria, Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit. She informed them, as she tugged a shirt over head, that she would be at the meeting…and that they please save her a seat. That satisfied them enough, and a moment later…and they were gone. Leaving the redheaded Diva to dress in peace.

She walked into the catering hall, the apparent un-official spot of the meetings now…even though before they would all meet in the ring. But, that was only insignificant, a passing thought in her mind as she crossed the length of the catering hall. And again, she passed by them. Their seats were two over from the spot that Chris, Chris, Victoria and Lillian had secured. She felt eyes on her as she walked over to her friends, but she didn't trust herself to meet the heated gaze. Instead, she brushed it off, flashing a dazzling smile to Victoria and Lillian as they settled in for the meeting. But, it was inevitable and on one occasion, their eyes did meet. Only a passing glance, one that would go un-noticed, one that wouldn't raise any suspicion. At least not from Stacy.

"Are you still….?" Victoria began hesitantly, the raven haired Diva just catching the lingering gaze between the two. "Li, I thought you said-"

"Vi, I really don't think this is the time to talk about this, do you?" Lita hissed under her breath, "Wouldn't want the wrong people to overhear."

Victoria's lips pressed into a thin line, the raven haired Diva showing her disapproval in her eyes. "I thought you were done with this."

"I am."

"Then why doesn't it look like it, huh Li?" Victoria sighed, sending Chris Jericho a reassuring smile. "You think I don't notice it?"

"It is done Vi…believe me, it's done."

"Do you honestly believe that?" The raven haired Diva set a hand on her friends shoulder. "Li, why don't you just tell him how you feel?"

"Because it's not that easy Vi…you know how I felt going into this and my feelings haven't changed."

Victoria shook her head, a sad smile on her face. "Then why are you still torturing yourself like this?"

Lita's shoulders lifted in a nonchalant shrug, the redheaded Diva chewing absently on her lower lip. "What can I say Vi? Just a silly little self indulgence."

Victoria frowned, "It's more than that Lita, and you're just going to get your heart broken…and for what? Sex?"

"You don't understand Vi." Lita persisted quietly, the redhead really not wanting to go into the intricacies of the situation. "And I wouldn't expect you to understand, so can we please? Just drop this subject?"

Victoria just shook her head, "I hope you know what you're doing Li, this isn't a game to be taken lightly…there are feelings involved here."

"I know what I'm doing, alright?" Lita brushed it off, "Now please, just drop this subject. Case closed."

The raven haired Diva could only sigh. Of the few people that Lita really talked to, apparently she was the only one privy to the mess that Lita had willingly gotten herself into. It had only started as a one night thing…and that had lead to another and another…until the redhead had fallen so deep. The two had gotten to a point where it was just a friends with benefits deal, no strings attached because Lita wasn't looking for a relationship and at that time…neither had Randy. But, that was before Stacy was in the picture. And Victoria could recall Lita confessing that things were going to end now that Randy was with Stacy. Of course, Victoria never understood why Lita and Randy wouldn't just admit what was there to one another. Victoria knew well enough, that Lita didn't want to get her heart broken. And yes, the raven haired Diva understood that reasoning…but it had become obvious to her and Lillian that it wasn't going to happen. But, instead of seeing that for herself, Lita chose to ignore it.

…………..

One hour had passed now, the Heat tapings were over and the opening pyrotechnics for RAW were about to be queued. The redheaded Diva wasn't needed for much of the show tonight, well at least not outside of her regular duties, and that was wrestling. But tonight, in the spirit of Valentine's Day…it would be Christy, Victoria and Stacy taking on Trish, Molly and Candice Michelle in a lingerie pillow fight. Lita had the 'lucky' duty of being the referee. How original and how utterly tasteless. She knew that Molly felt the same on the matter as she did, but at the same time both Diva's were just thankful that they had jobs as wrestlers. Given, yes the women's division was exclusive to RAW, but since when did the women's division become pillow fights and bikini contests? Oh well, as Lita stopped by the wardrobe department to pick up her attire for the night, she was just thankful they wouldn't be wrestling in chocolate sauce. The 'match' was scheduled to kick off the second half of RAW. How something that stupid and sexist got priority over the first half of RAW, Lita wasn't exactly sure. And it was at the wardrobe department that the redhead was informed, it was now a fashion show. How ingenious. Let's parade around in lacy strips of clothing for the male populace in hopes that we'll raise the RAW ratings this week. Apparently, Lita wasn't the only one with a little guilty pleasure.

The redheaded Diva had just made it to the hallway, her garment in hand…and she really did have to hand it to the wardrobe department. It was red, black…sheer in some spots and surprisingly was acceptable. Just that she really wasn't looking forward to prancing around in it on national television. But, she had just made it to her locker room when the door was opened, a hand clamping over her wrist. And without looking, she knew it was him; her face lighting in silly anticipation as he lead her inside the locker room. But, just as she was opening her mouth to speak; he shut the door behind them…the redhead noting that he was locking it as well. And then he turned to her, just as he had…all the times before.

"We really need to stop meeting like this…" She stated quietly, the redhead stepping past him to set her garment on the bench.

He smirked, stepping behind her, burying his face in the crook of her neck. "Then you should stop meeting me…"

Lita frowned, her eyes fluttering shut as he began kissing the smooth surface. "You're right…I should."

He lifted his face from her neck, puzzled blue eyes locking with hers. "Do you mean that?"

Lita pursed her lips, gently cupping his cheek with her hand. "You know this isn't right…"

He frowned, "But it was right before…?"

She shook her head, putting some distance between them. "Not since you've been with someone…you have a girlfriend."

He took a step forward, "Then what was last night…a mistake?"

She turned her back to him, squaring her shoulders; her hands clenching tightly at her sides. "It was a mistake…you're with her, so you should be with her."

Mere inches were between them, his arms banding tentatively around her waist. "But I want you…"

"You say that now," She stated flatly, her hands remaining where they were. "But you'll just go back to her, like you're supposed to…like you should."

His arms tightened, his chin resting atop her head. "But I want-"

"We don't always get what we want…" The redhead stated sullenly, her hands resting on his, removing them methodically. "You should go."

He frowned again, turning her so she was facing him. "How can you say that…after all that we've had, after last night…?"

Lita's lips pressed into a thin line, "What did we have, huh? We had nothing, just some really hot sex. Let's face the facts for what they are, we both knew what we were getting into when this all started."

"So, that's all I was to you? Just another fuck buddy?"

"What was I to you?" She challenged back, "What was I really to you? A bed warmer until you got the girl you wanted? Well you have her now, so just walk out of here…and forget about me."

"Then what do you want from me? You want me to break up with her? Fine, I'll do it…you want me to tell her I've been fucking you behind her back …? Fine, I'll do it."

"I'm not asking you to do that, I'm asking you to walk away and to not look back. " Lita crossed her arms over her chest, turning on heel then. "You wanted her, you have her…why do you still need me?"

"Because I…"

"Doesn't sound like a convincing start, does it…?" The redhead Diva walked to the corner of the locker room, her eyes fluttering shut. "Leave."

He walked over to her, keeping some space between them. "How can you tell me to leave, when earlier…I saw that same look in your eyes?"

"Maybe you just hit your head too hard," The redhead deadpanned evenly, "Just leave."

"Look me in the face and tell me to leave."

Lita sucked in a sharp breath, steeling herself before she turned to face him. "Le-"

He closed the distance between them, his mouth firm and demanding. The kiss starting off forceful on his part, the redhead putting her hands on his chest to push him away. But, he was relentless, a hand threading through her hair, grasping firmly at the back of her neck. He backed her up against the wall, giving her nowhere to run…and that was when she broke. Her lips parting as his tongue demanded an entrance. Consequences be damned right now, her hands clasped at the back of his neck, the redhead's fingernails raking over his shoulders. They parted for breath, his lower body pinning her to the spot. Clouded eyes locked for a moment before his face dipped, his mouth attacking her ear, drawing the sensitive lobe between his teeth before his mouth moved to her neck. Lita sucked in another sharp breath, arching against him, her hands roaming over his broad back and around to his well chiseled body. She could feel one of Randy's hands moving along her side, caressing her skin through the cotton fabric of her shirt. But, instead of stopping him when that hand slipped upwards to cup her breast her hands went to work on the buttons of his dress shirt.

"Do you still want me to leave?" He whispered huskily, one hand still massaging the fleshy mound. "Just say the word…and I'll walk out."

Lita blinked, her mind clouded at that moment…her mind was screaming for him to leave but her body was protesting otherwise.

Randy waited, his ministrations ceasing on her breast. "Well?"

Lita licked her lips, her throat parched…the word on the tip of her tongue, but instead of saying leave…she asked him to stay. If only for this moment, if only for this one last time…their lips met again. A guilty pleasure, a self indulgence…an all too familiar spot.

What in the world had she gotten herself into?

………………………………...

_Author Note: Now, I will more than likely keep this a short series…I really don't intend on it becoming more than a short series as I have a few ideas that will become a long series. On a related note, my songfic series will be started today…another short series. Anywhoot, I hope you liked this …I know, yet another story…but well…I couldn't help myself. _


	2. Could Never Have

**Self Indulgence**

**Disclaimer: **I own no person, place or thing that you recognize. Persona's are property of the WWE and Vince McMahon, people own themselves. I'm just borrowing them for a little torture that is, fan fiction.

**Spoilers**: Nope, none here.

**Rating: **R for explicit content and language.

**Summary:** Sometimes, things aren't always as perfect as they seem…

**Notes: **Refer to the first chapter for any applicable notes.

……………………………

The redheaded Diva strained to hear the noise just outside the locker room. She knew full well that RAW had kicked off, and that people would more than likely be looking for them soon. Or him to be more precise, but that thought was the last thing on either one of their minds. Following her failed attempt to ask him to leave, Randy had taken a moment to remove her shirt. His dress shirt was now completely unbuttoned, hanging loosely from his shoulders. Lita's hands splayed over his bare chest, hazel orbs flying shut as his mouth latched on to a sensitive spot beneath her ear. It always started like this, well except for the slight conversation..her asking for him to leave; it always started like this. No terms of endearment, no passing whispered confessions, just them.

A man and a woman.

_Flashback_

_November, 2003_

_The night Matt had debuted on RAW, the night Lita had lost her job…only to regain it on a favor from Christian. That had been the night that she had the fortune - or perhaps it was now a misfortune - of running into Randy Orton at the hotel bar. The redhead had already passed the point of releasing her tears, now it was just a matter of releasing her pain. She had already downed her third shot, and was about to order another when the cocky, young member of Evolution approached her. Really, it had been simple, she had brushed him off and he had remained persistent. To her utmost surprise, he had actually seemed to care about what she was going through. And at that time, the redheaded Diva never would've expected for a team mate of Hunter's to be empathetic…not to anyone and in all honesty not to her. They hadn't done anything that night, she had managed to successfully deter him and they had parted in the hotel bar._

_That night had marked the first time she had dared to view Randy Orton in a different light._

_End Flashback_

The redhead came back to reality when she felt a hand tugging insistently at her jeans. Her face lifted upwards, Randy staring down at her; blue eyes dark with lust. The atmosphere in the locker room swirling thick with passion..and yet with an underwritten tone of tension. It was truly a dangerous game that they played, the risk of getting caught always weighing on the back of their minds. She grazed her hands over his arms, her fingertips seeming to dance along his biceps as his shirt fell to the floor. One hand grasped at the back of his neck, guiding his face to hers for another heated meeting of their lips. That hand stayed, grasping at the fine hairs on the back of his neck. The other traveled back down his arm, seeking out one of his hands. She could feel his desire for her, the redhead voicing her mutual want as she arched her body against him. His mouth left hers, the two breathing heavily, their foreheads resting together. She released his hand, cupping his cheek gently; the pad of her thumb caressing his cheekbone. Lita captured his mouth with hers as he went to work on her pants. Randy had just unzipped the redheads jeans, when she pulled back, nodding over to the plush chair in the locker room.

The heated kiss began anew as they stumbled in the direction of the chair. She turned him when they reached their destination, placing her palms flat on his chest; urging him to take a seat. Lita smiled seductively, licking her lips as she straddled him.

_Flashback_

_April, 2004_

_After the night at the hotel bar, they never really talked. Sure, they acknowledged each other once in a blue moon in the hallways backstage, but nothing beyond the false pleasantries. She, after all, had her own circle of friends while he was running the high life with Evolution. Perhaps things would've stayed that way, but fate had something else in mind for the Queen of Extreme and the Legend Killer. It had been at Backlash, after his match with Mick Foley, that again…the redheaded Diva saw Randy Orton in a new light. He was more than just one of Evolution's cronies, he was more than just a third generation wrestler. That moment too had been just a passing moment. She had been engaged in conversation with Victoria, while he was being helped to the trainer's room by Batista and Flair. _

_It wasn't until the night that Kane made Lita the sacrificial lamb did the dangerous game begin. _

_Again, the redheaded Diva had been drowning her sorrows in the hotel bar. And again, Randy Orton had happened upon her. Only this time, instead of just brushing him off, the redhead had actually invited him to join her for a drink. That had lead to the two leaving the hotel bar for a club in the area. Perhaps it had been the alcohol, or perhaps it had been the adrenaline carousing through her being from her state of fear; but that had marked the night they went from being mere acquaintances to the status that they held with each other now. It was really meant to be, just a one night stand. They both went into the hotel room knowing that. _

_Of course, now she knew differently._

_End Flashback_

Randy's hands cupped her breasts, the redhead's hands teasing dangerously along the waistband of his pants. She massaged him through the fabric, the redhead rewarded with a satisfied groan for her efforts. He bucked against her hand, the redhead admonishing him for lack of control. Randy's response was to replace one of his hands with his mouth, the free hand now trailing over her abdomen. His touch sent an electric sensation through her being, her mouth parting as a low moan escaped her. His mouth turned to lavish attention to her right breast, both hands working now to tug down her jeans.

……..

"Li?" Victoria beckoned from the hallway, "Li? Are you there?"

Lita bit her lower lip, locking eyes with Randy as his hands splayed over the exposed surface of her upper thighs. "What is it Vi?"

"I just.." Victoria trailed off, checking in either direction to make sure no one else was in the hallway. "I just wanted to talk to you…about, umm…well about, you know."

Randy raised an eyebrow, massaging the redhead's thigh. "Li? What's she talking about?"

The redhead shrugged in response, her fingertips dancing over his chest. "Can you be a bit more specific Vi?"

"You know what I mean Lita." Victoria sighed, leaning sideways against the door. "I thought you said that you and Randy had stopped whatever it was you were doing."

Lita frowned, holding up a hand to Randy, silently indicating for him to stay put. "Vi, like I said earlier…this really isn't the time or the place to talk about this."

"Well then can I at least come in and talk to you?" The raven haired Diva let out a frustrated sigh. "Li, please..I'm worried about you."

"Honestly, Vi, there's nothing to be worried about." Lita's reply was calm, collected and nonchalant…though on the inside, turmoil reigned. "Can't we talk later?"

There was a moments pause, and the redhead could see Victoria slowly conceding. "Fine…we'll talk later."

"Later Vi.."

"Later."

The redhead's eyes fluttered shut, Lita shutting off that part of her for now. "So…where were we?"

A lazy smile curved at the corners of Randy's mouth. "So she knows about us…?"

Lita rolled her eyes, her fingernails raking lightly over his sculpted chest and abdomen. "I thought we agreed that there is no us."

Randy rolled his eyes right back, his thumbs tracing slow circles of her inner thighs. "You know what I meant."

The redheaded Diva remained silent a moment, her hands splaying over his abdomen. "Yeah she knows…I had to talk to someone, you know? Us girls…can't keep a secret to save our lives."

Randy smirked, his hands moving to grip her hips. "Well all things considered, it's a good thing you went to Victoria…and not someone else."

An unreadable emotion flashed through Lita's eyes for a moment. "Yeah..I doubt that'd go over really well."

A hand moved to cup her lower back, drawing her closer to him. "I'm not sure how much time we have left…"

Lita nodded absently, "They're probably sending a search party out for you now.."

"Let them search." His face moved forwards, his mouth dropping feather light kisses on her collarbone. "I-"

"You should probably leave now." The redhead turned her face, wrapping her arms around herself. "Less questions…or whatever."

Confusion swirled in Randy's eyes. "Why?"

Lita's lips pressed into a thin line, "You know why Randy…" She shook her head, gingerly removing herself from his body. "You shouldn't be here right now."

He held firm to her, "But I want to be here…I came here looking for you, because I want you."

The Diva shook her head, "But you'll still go back to her, that's where you belong."

A frustrated sigh escaped the Legend Killer. "Then why am I here with you?"

"Because it's fun?" She offered blandly, "Because of the risk? It's a great adrenaline rush huh…knowing that, at any moment we could get caught."

He gritted his teeth, "Is that all this is to you? Fun? A thrill?"

"Isn't it?" Lita replied distantly, "All this is, is a physical attraction…we both knew that from the get go.. Nothing's changed Randy, so there's no use pretending that it has."

Randy released her abruptly, "Is that really what you think?"

Lita nodded mechanically, "I would be a fool to think otherwise..so would you."

Randy raked his hands over his hair, watching on as the redhead gathered her discarded shirt. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Acting like this…one minute you're all over me and the next, you act like I don't even exist."

A sullen smile crossed her face, "You know the answer to that, so I'm not even going to bother."

He rose from the chair, crossing the short distance to her. "I told you already, if you want me to break up with her, I'll do it."

"And then what, huh?" Lita knelt down, hazel orbs focusing on the pattern on her shirt. "We announce to the world that we've been carrying on this illicit affair? That you've decided to do the moral thing? Please, it doesn't work like that…don't delude yourself Randy."

"Damn it Lita." Randy gritted his teeth, crouching beside her, a hand closing over hers. "Can't you see? I want you."

"But you still chose her." Lita replied smoothly, standing then, her shoulders squaring. "You can tell me you want me, but you chose her."

"Then I'll-"

"Then nothing Randy." The Diva shook her head, ignoring the feelings bottled within her. "You chose her, so go back to her. Forget about me, this was a mistake."

Randy's hand left hers, instead closing on her shoulder. "Is that what you want?"

Lita nodded, not trusting herself to face him. "It's what has to happen."

"That doesn't answer my question…is it what you want?"

"Why does it matter…?" Lita tried to jerk away, but his hand held firm. "It's for the best…and it's what should have happened a long time ago."

Randy shook his head, stepping in front of her. "I don't believe you."

"Are you a mind reader?" She replied methodically, "We don't always get what we want, Randy…just go."

Randy reached down to pick up his shirt, draping it over the crook of his arm. "This isn't over Li."

"Don't call me Li…and it is over."

"No it's not." Randy remained firm, a finger hooking under her chin; forcing her to look him in the face. "Not until we talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about Randy." Lita remained distant, willing him to understand. "I don't know what's running through your mind right now, but there never was an 'us'..there never will be an 'us'. "

Randy held her gaze for a moment, his hand cupping her cheek. "I'll see you at the hotel."

Lita scoffed indifferently, "Like hell you will, don't you get it Randy? There is nothing to talk about. This is done, over…finished."

Randy shook his head, releasing her face to shrug back into his shirt. "I'll see you at the hotel."

Lita looked on as he exited the locker room, the redhead sinking down to the cool surface of the floor as soon as the door had shut. Why did things have to get so complicated? She knew she could've had it easier..that things could have and should have ended when he started dating Stacy. That had been almost two weeks ago now. Her forehead came to rest on her knees, the redhead curling into herself.

………

_Flashback_

_January, 2005_

_He had come to meet her, just as he had been since late May of last year. They had decided that from the beginning, she rarely had a room mate but aside from that…they figured it would raise less suspicion. At that point in time, Victoria was the only one who knew about them. The raven haired Diva having seen Randy exiting the redhead's hotel room after one of there late night trysts. Victoria had confronted Lita then about it, questioning if the redhead really knew what she was getting into. And Lita, had of course, assured her friend that she knew what she was doing. It was only a no strings attached sort of thing, no feelings involved…just mutual gratification. _

_But that had changed somewhere along the line…only Lita chose to ignore it._

_It was on that night, the night that Randy informed her that he was with Stacy…the night Lita realized she did care about him. That it had gone past no strings attached..well beyond that; but apparently it was too little too late. They had agreed then, that they would end things between them. That night was supposed to have been their last meeting…and nothing was supposed to happen. But, it hadn't gone that way. Instead he had left her hotel room in the early hours of the morning, the room still fresh from their recent tryst. And then they had met again…during the break between the house shows; he had showed up at her front door, unannounced as usual. But instead of turning him away like she should have, she invited him in like she so routinely did._

_She had fallen further than she was willing to admit. But did he feel the same? Lita really couldn't tell._

_End Flashback_

……………

The redhead was informed at the curtains that, it would be the King presiding over the festivities as Randy had been booked that night to face Christian. That was all fine and dandy as the redhead wasn't looking forward to the stupid thing anyway. Given yes, she was grateful that Randy wouldn't be there…as it would prevent a potentially awkward situation. It would also make things that much easier for her to ignore the Legend Killer that was haunting her mind. And perhaps, what was paining her the most at that moment, was that she had to ignore him. That she had to ignore the turmoil within her. Lita condemned herself for allowing her heart to get involved. It wasn't supposed to happen like this, she wasn't supposed to be falling for him…she wasn't supposed to fall for him.

But the painful reality of it all, was that she had fallen for him. And she had fallen hard.

The rest of RAW was a blur for the redheaded Diva. She had shut alienated herself from the rest of the Diva's..and from most of her co-workers for the last hour. The only person she did see was Victoria. And as the redhead had anticipated, the raven haired Diva voiced her concerns. Lita had made the mistake of telling Victoria once, that maybe…just possibly…she was starting to fall for Randy. But, because they had agreed from the get go that it was no strings attached…she was just going to ignore it. Victoria had said then that it was stupid of her to ignore it, and that she would feel better if she just told Randy. But, like tonight, just as she had then; Lita remained firm in her decision. It really was for the best, and in time, her feelings would dissipate.

She only wished she could believe that.

………………………

**_Review Responses_**:

_**Iaera**: Thank you! I just get ideas..lol, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I guess this is a case where it did, eh? I hope this chapter was to your liking. Thank you for the review!_

_**Together: **lol, my sentiments exactly. I'm not really sure what I have planned…well, that's a lie, cuz I do..hehe. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you for the review!_

_**Latisha C**: Yes, I will be updating that…just not sure when. I'm just trying to sort out all of my ideas, but no worries that'll get updated. I hope you liked this chapter and thank you for the review!_

_**Free-vibe**: I can't say that I don't like the pair (well…not really, but I won't get into it..lol)…just that I like the non-common ones that much more. I hope you liked this chapter and thank you for the review!_

_**CNIMBWM: **heh, you can say that again. And thank you! I think this angst stuff is right up my alley..lol. I hope you liked the chapter and thank you for the review!_

_**Xokittyjunox: **Here's another chapter for ya! Thank you for the review!_

_**Aussiewrestlingfan**: Thank you so much Carolyn! I hope you liked this chapter._

_**Myth: **Yeah, I had half a mind to write something fluffy (which I do have plans for …just not ready to write it yet) but then I thought otherwise. Love isn't always perfect, and I just can't resist writing angst and drama…lol. I hope you liked the chapter and thank you for the review!_


	3. Who's to Say?

**Self Indulgence**

**Disclaimer: **I own no person, place or thing that you recognize. Persona's are property of Vince McMahon and the WWE. People own themselves, I'm just borrowing them for a torture session called: fan fiction.

**Spoilers: **Yeah okay…whatever.

**Rating: **R- For explicit content and language

**Summary: **Things aren't always as perfect as they seem…

**Notes: **All applicable notes are in the first chapter, entitled Guilty Pleasures.

………………………………...

In all truth, she wasn't expecting for him to show up that night. In fact, the redheaded Diva had gone out of her way to avoid him the rest of the night. It wasn't hard really, she just stuck to her locker room and the company of Victoria, Chris Jericho, Shane Helms and Chris Benoit. Separately, they were concerned for her…but between the four of them; only one really knew the reason behind her apparent distress. Shane had spent the better half of the last hour of the night cracking lame jokes to the two Diva's, while Chris and Chris merely voiced their moral support for the redhead if it was needed at a later time. And the greatest surprise of the night, before she left the arena anyway, Christian had stopped by…simply to wish Lita a happy Valentine's Day. To say the least, she had been nothing short of shocked, Christian was the last person the redheaded Diva had expected to hear those words from. Well, maybe not the last person…but certainly one of the most unexpected. All in all, the rest of the night was a numb blur for the Queen of Extreme, Lita all but ready to just call it a night.

She had humored Chris Jericho, Victoria and Shawn Michaels…joining them for an anti-Valentine's Day dinner at the hotel's restaurant. That went well, although the redhead offered little to the conversation; it at least got her mind off of things. Chris and Shawn questioned the redhead's somber mood outright, while Victoria opted to save her questions for a later time. The raven haired Diva was well aware as to what was causing Lita such grief, but she also knew that the redhead wasn't about to admit to anytime soon. And it was that fact, that puzzled and upset the raven haired Diva more than anything. Before they had left for dinner, Lillian had consulted with Victoria; requesting that the raven haired Diva try and get Lita to open up a bit. Victoria of course, remained doubtful about that..but she at least humored the petite blonde ring announcer; stating that they could always corner the redhead over room service later. That had subdued Lillian's concerns for the time being…and after that was out of the way; she went on her own Valentine's double date. She left out the names of the other two, not that it would've concerned the raven haired Diva, but since Lita wasn't far off…the blonde ring announcer figured it would only put a further damper on the evening.

It was when they returned from their respective anti and pro Valentine's Day celebrations, did Lillian and Victoria find the opportunity to corner the redhead.

"Alright," Lillian began, neatly spooning a mouthful of her ice cream sundae. "Li, come on..talk, what's going on?"

The redheaded Diva expelled a patient sigh, "Do we really have to talk about this?"

Victoria raised a brow, shaking her spoon admonishingly. "You've been avoiding this for months now Li, so talk."

Lita frowned, setting her spoon down. "What do y'all wanna' know that y'all don't already know?"

Victoria exchanged a look with Lillian, spooning a mouthful of her sundae. "Well, for starters…how come you haven't told him how you feel?'

The redhead sent the raven haired Diva a disbelieving look, "Who said I feel anything? I told y'all from the beginning…it's only a no strings attached deal. I needed someone, he needed someone…"

"Bullshit Li," Victoria shook her head, "It may have started out like that, this whole…fuck buddies deal…which by the way, I can't believe you consented to in the first place-"

"And why's that?" Lita raised a brow, "Men do it all the time, who says a woman can't do the same?"

The raven haired Diva raised a skeptical brow, but opted not to question that part. "I think I would be able to tell by now…I mean, the way you two look at each other and-"

"Lust, Vi..that's all it is, believe me." Lita's lips pressed into a thin line. "It's nothing more than a physical attraction."

Victoria just shook her head, "Li…I can understand that you don't want to get hurt, but by not telling him…by not admitting this to yourself? You're only hurting yourself in the process."

"Say what you will Vi, but there's nothing there." The redhead shrugged indifferently, pushing her sundae aside. "And on the off chance that I do have 'feelings' for him…who's to say their mutual?"

"Have you asked?" Victoria queried then, "Or are the two of you just so blind, that you can't see what's so blatantly in front of you."

Lita rolled her eyes, "Enlighten me then, Dr. Phil…what is it that's _so_ blatant?"

Victoria stuck out her tongue, "Well it would take a blind man not to notice the obvious sexual tension when the two of you are in the same room…but let me ask you something, do you miss him when he's not around? Are you jealous that he's with someone else?"

"I'm not jealous," Lita stated defiantly, a hand reaching back to gather crimson locks into a ponytail. "And I don't miss him…I'm perfectly fine with how things were and I'll be perfectly fine when this whole mess just disappears."

"Then what drew you to him in the first place, hmm?" Victoria set aside her near empty sundae dish. "Because, honestly Li, I never would've thought you'd be the type to just jump into a purely physical relationship."

The redhead bristled, "It's not a relationship and it never has been one, so I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that term out of this discussion."

"You know what I meant Li," Victoria's scooted closer on the bed to the redhead. "So, just answer the question…what was it that attracted you to him in the first place and what made you stay? You claimed from the get go, that it was only supposed to be a one night stand but-"

"He's a fine specimen Vi, are you blind? Granted yeah, that ego of his got in the way in the beginning…but he's got to be one of the best-"

"Drop the damn mask." Victoria commanded gently, "We're you're friends Li, we aren't gonna judge you."

Lita hesitated a moment, "What drew me to him in the first place? To tell you the honest truth, I'm not sure. We just ran into each other at the bar…I just wanted to get drunk and he happened to be there."

"Fair enough," Victoria conceded, "But what made you stick with it? Why have I seen him leaving your hotel room late at night, why..when I've called your house, I've heard you talking to him in the background."

"I don't know Vi…" Lita admitted evenly, laying back on the bed. "It just…it happened once, then it happened again…one thing just lead to another and-"

"And then you started falling for him?" Victoria supplied hesitantly, "So, why can't you just tell him that? Why didn't you tell him that?"

Lita frowned, "Because it's not that easy Vi…I don't want a relationship, not after all the shit that I've been through with Matt…I just wanted something different."

Victoria exchanged a glance with Lillian, the two recalling the many nights that they had sat up with the redheaded Diva. "But, in a sense…it's the same scenario."

Lita shrugged awkwardly, tucking her hands beneath her head. "I guess…but what good would it be now? He's with someone else, that's all there is to it."

"So, you're just going to let go?" Victoria shook her head. "Now that isn't anything like the Lita I know."

"Then what am I supposed to do, huh? Just go over to his hotel room and announce these 'feelings'?" Lita snorted, "I don't think so Vi."

"I'm not suggesting that," Victoria replied crisply, a frustrated sigh escaping her. "Just that, you'll feel a hell of a lot better if you actually talk to him about it. I'm not saying that anything has to develop out of it, but at least talk to him."

"I don't-"

"Why are you so afraid to take one little chance?" Victoria pushed up from the bed, raking a hand through her hair. "Look Li, I know you don't want to get hurt, but you'll just be kicking yourself if you don't take the chance and at least tell him how you feel."

Lita sighed, her eyes fluttering shut. "I'll think about it."

Victoria shook her head, gesturing for Lillian to join her. "If you don't…then I will, and I can promise you I won't be subtle about it."

"Fine fine, do what you will alright?" Lita turned her face to the headboard. "I just want to be alone right now."

Victoria paused at the door, indicating for Lillian to go first. "Just think about what I said…think about how you really feel. Because I know he will show up at some point and tomorrow? I'll probably be back here rehashing this issue because you're too afraid to take a chance."

The raven haired Diva exited the hotel room then, the door shutting behind her with a soft click. And for her part, the redheaded Diva stared at the abstract lines and patterns on the wooden headboard. She knew that Victoria meant well, and honestly…her words of wisdom were sinking in. But, the redhead still remained firm in her decision…to just ignore the feelings that she harbored for the Legend Killer. In time, it would just become a fleeting memory…another mark in her life and that was it. Even in her mind though, the thought seemed fruitless.

…………

The ringing of her cell phone on the nightstand shook the Diva from her thoughts. And thankful as she was for the distraction, she couldn't help but shake the sinking feeling that it was Randy calling. As she checked the display panel though, her thoughts were in vain; a sigh of relief escaping her as she pressed the talk button on the dimly lit key panel.

"Happy Valentine's Day…"

The redhead smiled in spite of it all, "Happy Valentine's Day Matt.."

"Look, I uh…I know we ain't exactly on the best of terms or whatever…but I-"

"Who asked you to call?"

"Chris." Matt Hardy admitted then, "He's worried about you Red."

"Then I'll tell you the same thing I told Victoria and Lillian…" The redheaded Diva sighed, "There's nothing wrong, so don't waste your time worrying."

"Listen Li, Chris wouldn't just up an' call me if there wasn't something to be concerned over." Lita could just see the frown on the elder Hardy brother's face. "So come on, tell me what's up.."

"Like I said Matt, there's nothing wrong."

"Li, please don't lie to me.."

"Matt.." Lita paused, debating if she should launch into the whole distorted tale. "Let's just say…I've gotten myself into a pretty tricky situation."

Matt paused, "Is someone hurtin' you? Did someone hurt you?"

"Only myself Matt."

"Then what's goin' on Li-Li?"

"Matt, I really don't want to get into right now, okay?" Lita shook her head, glancing to the alarm clock. "I promise you though, I'll tell you all about it when I get back to Sanford…you an' Jeff."

"I'm holdin' you to that darlin'…" Matt trailed off then, an audible sigh on his end of things. "You jus' take care of yourself, ya hear?"

"I'll try my best Matt." Lita smiled shakily, "Sleep tight, okay?"

"You do the same baby girl."

Lita nodded at the phone, ending the conversation then. She made a mental note to consult with a certain blonde Canadian later…but that would have to wait. She wouldn't deny it, she was expecting for him to show up…even if she had tried to deny it earlier. It was just how things operated between them. Like clockwork, he didn't disappoint. A sharp knock to her bedroom door, followed by a moment of silence..and one more knock. The redhead had half a mind to just leave him in the hallway, but the logical part of her knew that they couldn't carry on any sort of discussion in that manner. It would only draw suspicion after all.

"You've been ignoring me." He stated as soon as the door opened.

"You're sharp aren't you?" The redhead deadpanned evenly, opening the door a fraction more. "What do you want?"

"Can you just let me in please?" He set a foot over the threshold, "I just want to talk."

"That's what they all say," Lita murmured quietly as she opened the door wider. "Just shut the door behind you."

Randy shrugged out of his suit jacket as he walked into the hotel room, closing the door behind him per her request. "Why were you ignoring me?"

"And here I thought you still had some sense," The redhead rolled her eyes, flopping unceremoniously on the bed. "Why do you think?"

"Why are you trying to put a wedge between us now?"

"Because it should've happened a long time ago Randy." Lita expelled a tired sigh, "It's gone too far…and it never should've gone this far."

Randy raked a hand over his hair, settling on the edge of the bed. "So, why couldn't you have done this earlier then? Why are you waiting until now?"

"Because you're with her."

"I wasn't with her two months ago, was I? I wasn't with her three months ago…you could've ended it then."

Lita shrugged indifferently, scooting so she was resting against the headboard. "I needed some fulfillment, you were there."

Randy gritted his teeth, shaking his head at the Diva. "So you couldn't have gotten that elsewhere?"

She remained distant, "How do you know I didn't?"

He turned so he was facing her fully, one leg tucked while the other was resting outwards. "Because every time I wasn't at home? I was with you."

"And…? What does that prove?" the Diva shook her head, "Doesn't prove shit Randy, you weren't with me all the time, and unless you planted cameras at my house?"

"Why are you being such a cold hearted bitch?" He raised a brow at the redhead, "Usually, I can talk to you about almost anything."

"Since when have we actually sat down and talked, hmm?" She rolled her eyes, waving it off dismissively. "All we've done…since this whole thing started mind you, is fucked until all hours of the night."

"That's a lie." Randy remained defiant, "We've talked plenty Li and-"

"I asked you earlier, not to call me Li…that still stands."

He moved closer to her, causing the redhead to pull her knees to her chest. "Then I'll ask again, why are you being such a cold hearted bitch?"

"Life's a bitch Randy, deal with it."

"You know something Lita, I'll admit…when this first started…? I never expected for it to go this far." Randy shrugged, blue eyes staring intently at her. "Matter of fact, I just figured great…I could say that at one point in time, we had a one night stand. But it grew to more than that, and now I wonder why."

"Keep wondering then," Lita turned her face, resting her cheek on her knees. "I honestly don't know why you bothered to show up, cuz you ain't getting any."

Randy grimaced, "And how are you so sure that's why I'm here, huh? I wanted to talk to you about us."

"There is no us." Lita stated firmly, "There never was an us, and there never will be an us, so just get over that."

"Then why did you let me in?"

"Because if we had this discussion with you standing in the hallway?" The redhead snorted, "Yeah, that'd go over really well I'm sure. I could just imagine if someone walked down this hallway to hear that."

"And if someone notices me leaving? Then what, huh?"

"Then whatever Randy.." Lita's shoulders lifted marginally in a shrug, "Do you have a reason for being here? Because you're really starting to get on my nerves."

"I'm not leaving this hotel room until you look at me and talk to me, Lita." Randy rested a hand tentatively on her shoulder. "Give me that, and I'll leave."

"You ask for too much."

Randy shook his head, his hand running over her hair to the ponytail holder. "You give yourself to me willingly, and yet…you can't face me and talk to me…?"

Lita steeled herself, turning her face hesitantly, her chin coming to rest on her knees. "Happy now?"

"Can you just, drop this damn façade and talk to me?"

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but we've been talking for a good ten minutes now." Lita smirked, "That's a record I think."

He released her hair from the confines of the ponytail, his fingers threading through her fiery locks. "I've told you already what I'll do, and you say you don't want that…"

"That hasn't changed." The Diva's eyes closed, her shoulders lifting in a shrug. "So don't bother-"

"Then what do you want?"

"It doesn't matter Randy, so just forget about it…"

Randy shook his head, the back of his hand caressing her cheek. "Why doesn't it matter?"

"Because it doesn't." She stated half heartedly, "That's reason enough."

"I asked you to talk to me and look at me." Randy stated firmly, the pad of his thumb grazing over her cheekbone. "Look at me."

The redhead hesitated a moment, distant hazel orbs finally locking with probing blue. "I just want to be happy."

"That doesn't answer the question…what do you _really _want?"

The Diva fell silent, not trusting her voice at that moment. She could feel her heart pounding in her ears, trying in vain to ignore the emotions carousing through her at the mere touch of his hand. She _wanted _him. That was simple enough to answer, but he was already with someone else. It didn't matter that he had told her, he wanted her. It didn't matter that he was seemingly willing to leave what he already had. She had what she wanted right in front of her..but she couldn't find it in herself to answer.

Now just wasn't the time.

………………………..

_**Review Responses:**_

_**Latisha C.: **Well, hmm…yeah I guess, it isn't just your imagination but it's my favorite pairing as of late (and to be quite honest…one of my top favorite pairings). I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you for the review!_

_**Xokittyjunox: **Thank you! To be perfectly honest, I have half a mind to change the ending…but I'm not entirely sure yet…lol. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you for the review!_

_**Iaera: **Thank you! I know this chapter may have seemed bland in comparison to the previous, but eh…it had to be written. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you for the review!_

_**Myth: **lol, angst and drama go hand in hand I think. It's funny though, it's almost like I'm torturing myself…I am a hopeless romantic and love to see the nice happy endings, but eh..that's too bland..lol. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you for the review!_

_**Megan: **Thank you! I hope this chapter didn't disappoint and thank you for the review!_

_**Viper-sa: **Thank you! In whole hearted agreement about Randy…:dreamy sigh: I hope this chapter didn't disappoint and thank you for the review!_

_**CNIMBWM: **lol, yup…the box opened alright. Maybe I should padlock it next time :wink: I hope this chapter didn't disappoint and thank you for the review!_

_**Free-vibe: **:taps fingers together ala Mr. Burns: What indeed eh? She'll get it sorted out…eventually anyway. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you for the review!_

_**Author Babble: **Okay so, this isn't exactly a -short- series, but it won't be a long series either…I'm hoping to wrap this up within a few chapters…just for the fact that I have other ideas that are itching to be written…anywhoot, I hope you'll stick with this until it's done. Thank you in advance to any reviewers!_


	4. The Real Thing?

**Self Indulgence**

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing that you recognize. Personas are property of Mr. McMahon and the WWE. People own themselves, I'm just borrowing.

**Spoilers: **Haha…no

**Rating: **R for explicit content and language

**Summary: **Things aren't always as perfect as they seem…

**Notes: **Everything applicable can be found in the first chapter.

**Thanks to**: iaera, Latisha C., CNIMBWM, Myth & abril4. Review responses for the next chapter..sorry about that.

………………………

The redheaded Diva wasn't sure how much time passed. All she knew was that they had been sitting there, in silence. Randy had yet to say anything, and neither of them had moved. The air between them was tense and the distance was, for once, minimal. No matter how hard she tried to look away, she continued to hold his gaze. Seeing for the first time, allowing him to see for the first time. For the first time, there were no barriers between them. The emotions she tried so carefully to guard, played freely in her hazel depths. She wanted to tell him, and in fact she was planning on it. But before she uttered a word, she just had to know something. And perhaps it was her way of setting herself up for a rejection, but before Lita would reveal any of the feelings she harbored. She had to know if they were reciprocated. Once she knew that, she would decide on what to say.

Her mouth parted, the redhead licking her lips before she spoke. "I..I just need to know something."

Randy blinked, not expecting that part. "About..?'

Lita paused, wrapping her arms around her legs. "How do you..or I guess do you..I mean, do-"

"What?"

'Please don't make me say it.' The redhead thought desperately, her eyes fluttering shut before she voiced her question. "What do I mean to you?"

Randy rubbed the back of his neck, "Well…"

"Well..?" Lita prompted then, "Do I disgust you, do you loathe me? What do I mean to you? It really isn't that hard of a question Randy."

The Legend Killer made a face, "Is this your way of avoiding my questions or something?"

"Just answer the question.." Lita replied listlessly, the Diva turning her face again, red locks curtaining her from view.

"Well which do you want to know? What you mean to me, or how I feel about you?"

Her shoulders lifted awkwardly. "Either or is fine.."

Randy nodded, "How about both…but on one condition."

"And that is…?"

He smirked slightly, brushing her hair from her face. "That you do the same."

The redhead hesitantly nodded, "Fair enough then."

"Alright..just don't expect any hallmark card or anything.." Randy smiled sheepishly, causing a tiny smile to crease at Lita's lips. "I'm really shitty at this stuff."

"Fair warning taken then.."

Randy nodded, pausing a moment to gather his thoughts. And it was in that moment that the hotel phone rang.

"They can wait.." Lita stated softly, "That's what voicemail is for."

Randy chuckled, nodding in agreement. "I guess I should start with-"

He was cut off again when Lita's cell phone started ringing, the redhead casting an annoyed glance at the object.

He frowned, "Maybe you should answer that…?"

The Diva shrugged, tentatively reaching for the offending object. "Depends on who it is…" Hazel orbs flickered to the display panel, her eyes widening considerably.

"Umm…hi Stacy."

"Hi.." The long legged Diva replied meekly, "Look Li, I know we haven't talked in awhile and I'm honestly sorry about that, but I just .. I really need someone to talk to and Randy went somewhere, he didn't say when he would be back, I tried calling Torrie and.." The blonde let out a dejected sigh, "I'm sorry I just-"

"No..no it's alright Stace, honest… we're friends right?" Lita forced a smile, removing her person from the bed. "What's up?"

Stacy paused, a sharp breath taken in. "Well.." Her voice faltered, an awkward silence falling between them. "Can I come down to your hotel room?"

"Umm.." Lita drew her lower lip between her teeth, "Why don't I just head down there?"

Stacy frowned, twisting a strand of hair around her index finger. "Because I don't know when Randy'll be back and .. This is something I kinda don't want him walking in on."

Lita nodded slowly, "Alright I guess…I'm in 304."

"Okay.." The blonde stated quietly, "Thanks a mill. Li, I'll be up in a bit."

"Not a problem at all Stace..I'll see you."

The redhead waited for the dial tone before she flicked the cell phone shut. "Well…"

"Shit."

"Right." Lita bit her lower lip, tossing the cell phone back on the bed.

"I'll just get out of here then."

"No.." The redhead stated in the blink of an eye, "She's heading here now, and if she catches you leaving?"

"Then what should I do, huh? Hide underneath the bed?"

Lita rolled her eyes, pacing the length of the hotel room. "I'm thinking alright?"

Randy rolled his eyes right back, standing then. "Well think of something soon."

Lita stuck out her tongue, pausing in her pacing to pluck his suit jacket from the floor. "Well…there's the closet and the bathroom."

"And?"

The redhead opened the closet door, tossing his suit jacket inside. "Just .. Sit tight alright? I'm not exactly sure what she wants but it sounded pretty important."

Randy nodded, his hand reaching out to her a moment. "Don't keep me waiting."

Lita just shook her head, shutting the door after him.

…..

A few moments later, there was a sharp knock at the door. And as she had expected, it was none other than Stacy Keibler. That was when Lita's guilt kicked in, growing considerably when she noticed the mascara streaked cheeks. Whatever it was that Stacy needed to discuss, didn't look good. All the same, the redhead forced a smile..opening the door for her friend.

"Li, I'm really sorry..I just-"

Lita held up a hand, indicating for the blonde to step inside. "Don't sweat it okay? That's what friends do.." Mentally she added, 'They don't steal your boyfriend though…'

Stacy nodded, wiping away at her eyes…but in one hand, the redhead spotted something. "I just didn't know who else to go to…Vikki and I have never really been close, you know? And I can't say that I really trust the new girls."

The redheaded Diva nodded in understanding, "Enough said, okay? Come on in.." She waited until Stacy had entered the hotel room, before she shut the door…a wary glance sent to the closet but none the less..no looking back now.

Stacy expelled a tired sigh, settling on the bed. "I'm sorry if I interrupted your plans or anything."

Lita rolled her eyes, quipping easily. "Trust me Stace, I'm as single as they get..I had no plans tonight."

The long legged blonde smiled weakly, "You want me to talk to anyone for you? It's been awhile since we've done the double date thing…I'm sure Randy wouldn't mind."

The redhead laughed, "That's quite alright Stace..I'm perfectly fine with the way things are."

Stacy nodded, waiting until Lita had also settled. "Well, if you change your mind or whatever.."

"I appreciate it Keibler." Lita grinned enthusiastically, though inside..she was pained. "So…what's up?"

The blonde Diva's hands clasped together, her voice small and meek. "I have a problem."

The redhead raised a brow, "What kind of problem?"

"Well…" Stacy trailed off, biting her lower lip. "It's not a problem with management or anything…for once my career is fine, you know?"

"Uh huh," Lita drew her legs beneath her, a curious glance sent to the blonde. "Then is it .. Well, I mean, is it Randy or something?"

"Or something…" Stacy stated quietly, "IthinkImightbepregnant."

Lita blinked, 'oh shit'.. "Um, say that again?"

Stacy's hands wrung together, her eyes growing bright with fresh tears. "I think I'm pregnant."

The redhead slowly nodded, trying with all her might to push back the crestfallen face. "I see…"

"But I'm not sure," Stacy sighed, tossing the object up from her hands. "I got that earlier..but I'm just so scared..I mean, what if I am? I would love nothing more than to be a mom, but I don't know if I'm ready right now."

Lita nodded numbly, "I know what you mean Stace.."

Stacy nodded weakly, "Yeah…that's why I figured you'd be the best person to talk to…no offense or anything."

The redheaded Diva forced a smile, raking a hand through her hair. "Finding out is always one of the hardest parts."

Stacy blinked, "What's the other?"

The redhead grimaced, unconsciously placing a hand on her abdomen. "Telling the father."

Stacy groaned, "Well…might as well get one part of the way…can I use the bathroom? I just don't want Randy to find it or anything."

Lita nodded, "Go right ahead Stace…just don't mind the make-up strewn on the counter, yeah? Vikki and Lil had the urge to drag me out to dinner with them."

Stacy giggled in spite of it all, rising from the bed then. "Thank you Li…I don't know what I'd do without you."

The redheaded Diva forced another smile, a heavy sigh escaping her when the bathroom door shut. Lita all but made up her mind then, it didn't matter how Randy felt…and her feelings were equally as trivial. Stacy deserved this happiness…and the redhead would just feel even more horribly if she were to stand in the way of it any longer. Still though, she couldn't stop the sharp pang of emptiness she felt.

Life just wouldn't be the same without Randy.

……..

The minutes seemed to pass like hours, the redhead waiting impatiently on the bed while Stacy remained in the bathroom. It struck the redhead as ironic though…Stacy had gone out of her way to find out in this hotel room so she wouldn't have to face an awkward situation with Randy. Little did the blonde Diva know that he was in the hotel room as well. That quick premonition caused the redhead to cast a look to the closed closet door…but she averted her attention when the door to the bathroom opened.

"Alright…" Stacy's foot appeared first, followed by the rest of the leggy Diva. "Two lines means pregnant, right?"

The redhead wordlessly held out a hand, "Let me see the instructions."

The blonde gulped uneasily, the pregnancy wand in one hand, the instructions in the other. "I'm so nervous."

"Don't be…" Lita stated quietly, hazel eyes skimming the rumpled sheet. "Yup…two lines means you're pregnant."

Stacy nodded, a moment of tense silence following. "I…I can't look."

Again, Lita held out a hand…the redhead steeling herself before she looked. And when she did…her heart sank. "Two lines…congratulations Stacy."

"Are you…are you sure?"

The redheaded Diva nodded glumly, "Positive.." She handed the wand over, "Two lines…just like the instructions say."

The long legged Diva let out a breathy sigh, "God…what am I going to do?"

Lita blinked, "You aren't gonna have an abortion, are you?"

"Oh Lord no…" Stacy shook her head, raking a hand through her hair. "It's just…I don't know if I'm ready to be a mom."

Lita smiled tersely, "I'm sure it'll come easy to you…"

"I guess.." The blonde Diva bit her lower lip, worrying the soft flesh. "It's just…it's such a shock."

Lita nodded mechanically, "Believe me..I know how you feel."

Stacy placed the wand on the comforter, wiping her palms over her skirt. "I just…wow…I mean..I'm going to be a mom."

"Yeah.." The redhead quirked a smile, "We'll hafta get all the Diva's together for your baby shower."

Stacy laughed shakily, wiping another tear from her face. "Yeah…at least I won't hafta worry about Jazz or Gail."

Lita smiled wryly, "No..just Trish and whatever spiteful things she has running through that vindictive mind of hers."

Stacy smiled weakly, reaching out a hand to the redhead. "I'm so sorry Li…that was just wrong of me and-"

"Don't worry.." Lita re-assured with a forced smile, reaching out her own hand to gently squeeze the blonde's shoulder. "

Stacy smiled again, a soft one…this one reaching her eyes. "I know it's early and all…and Torrie will probably flip, but would you be the baby's god-mother?"

The redhead laughed shakily, "Now now Stace…unless you're intentionally trying to drive a wedge between me and Torrie?"

Stacy rolled her eyes in spite of it all, "I see your point…it's just, I honestly don't know what I'd do without you…and I know we haven't spent as much time together as we used to but..out of all the girls over on RAW? I'd like to think of you as my best friend."

Lita could feel the knife twisting in her stomach. "Thanks Stace…that means a lot to me."

Stacy smiled shakily, "Well…I guess I'd better go now…all that crying really wore me out."

The redhead nodded, moving from the bed then. "Well, I'm glad you stopped by…and that I could help and all."

The blonde also stood, collecting the wand from the bed first. "Now I just hafta figure out how to break the news."

Lita smiled weakly, "I'm sure Randy will be thrilled to find out."

Stacy faltered for a moment, her toe digging into the plush carpeting. "Well..um..about that…"

Lita blinked, confusion swirling in her hazel depths. "Randy _is _the father…right?"

Stacy bit her lower lip, her gaze cast downwards. "Randy and I haven't…well, you know…"

The redhead slowly nodded, "I see…"

"Yeah…" Stacy let out a low sigh, leaning back against the closet door. "We planned on it tonight, but…something just..I don't know how to explain and it's probably too much information, right?"

Lita smirked in spite of it all, "Just a bit.."

Stacy nodded numbly, "Yeah well…I doubt the father will really want to know."

The redhead raised a brow, "What kind of asshole is he then?"

"He's not.." Stacy stated instantly, "It's just…his girlfriend would probably want to kill me."

"Oh?"

Stacy nodded, "Yeah…it's a long story, he and I had kinda dated, but nothing like overly serious or anything..or at least not for very long…It was right after WrestleMania XX actually, I had my eye on him for awhile and then we finally hooked up…but we broke up for some reasons or another…got back together after Survivor Series and then broke up again…then it…it's just a really big mess and I really do want to get to bed and everything but…" She sent a hopeful look to Lita. "Maybe you can talk to her for me? Convince her to not kill me until the baby is born?"

The redhead nodded skeptically, "Who do I have to talk to?"

"Dawn Marie." Stacy stated meekly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Lita nodded slowly as realization dawned…Dawn Marie, aside from being her best friend…was also the current girlfriend of the United States Champion, John Cena. And granted yes, Dawn had a bit of a reputation of being a bitch…and being vindictive, conniving, a vixen…but Lita also knew how long the brunette had wanted John. The redhead also knew that Dawn wouldn't take the news very kindly, and would be liable to perform acts of bodily harm on the long legged blonde.

"I'm sorry if it's asking for too much, I mean…I know how close you two are, and I really wouldn't want to come between you two or anything, it's just..I don't even know how I'm gonna tell John…let alone Randy, you know? And-"

"I'll talk to Dawn…" Lita stated finally, "I know how to deal with her pretty well…I can't make any promises that she'll leave you alone entirely…but I'll at least try and get the death threats out of her thoughts."

Stacy nodded, "Thanks…I'm gonna have my hands full just trying to think of how to explain this whole mess.."

The redhead nodded, "I don't envy you…but believe me when I say…I can understand exactly what you're about to go through."

Stacy grimaced, "Yeah well…it's not like I cheated on him or anything, God…I'd feel horrible if I did that to Randy."

Lita barely had time to suppress the wince, "Yeah…well…can't do anything about it now, right?"

"Right." Stacy slowly pushed off from the closet door. "I just hope Randy's understanding, you know?"

Lita nodded, "I'm sure things will turn out for the best Stace.."

Stacy smiled again, squeezing the redhead's shoulder. "Thank you again Li, honestly…I don't know if I can say that enough…you're a true friend."

The redhead smiled weakly, guilt rising heavily. "Call if you need anything, okay?"

"I'll do that…" Stacy nodded as she grasped the brass door handle. "Good night."

"Night Stace." Lita lifted her hand in a wave, stepping into the doorway to watch the leggy blonde depart.

No sooner had she stepped back into the hotel room and shut the door, did the closet door swing open. Randy Orton stepped out, the only time Lita would ever be able to say he stepped out of the closet. But even that humorous thought did nothing to ease the situation. Instead, they both stood there…a look of shock evident on the Legend Killer's features while the Queen of Extreme was going through many of the emotions known to human kind. Finally, after a good span of silence had passed, the redhead opened her mouth.

"You should probably leave now."

Randy shook his head, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. "I don't care if I sleep in the bathtub, hell I'll sleep in the fucking hallway, but I can't face her right now."

Lita inclined her head curiously, tentatively reaching out a hand; her fingertips just brushing his cheek to bring his eyes to hers. "Then I'll leave…I'll crash in Vikki's hotel room or something."

Randy shook his head once more, groping blindly for her hand. "I need you."

Lita hesitated, she knew that Randy shouldn't be here…that he really should be with Stacy. Stacy needed him right now…but then, she needed him too. She started to shake her head, but Randy stepped forwards, banding his arms around her; drawing her tightly to him. And at first, she resisted…her arms stagnant at her sides. He buried his face in her hair, his grip tightening somehow..causing the redhead to take a sharp breath. However, instead of pulling away…her arms slowly encircled him. The two locked in a silent embrace.


	5. Searching For Answers

**Self Indulgence**

**Disclaimer: **I own no person, place or thing that is mentioned. Persona's are property of the WWE and Vince McMahon. People own themselves. I'm just borrowing.

**Spoilers: **Ha. No.

**Rating: **R for explicit content and language

**Summary: **Things aren't always as perfect as they seem…

**Notes: **All applicable notes can be found in the first chapter.

**Thanks to: **everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I do apologize for the delay in getting this chapter up.. Just dealing with a little bit of writers block.

……………………………….

Silence engulfed them and cloaked them. Draped in the darkness, the hotel room illuminated by a lone light on the nightstand. For as long as they stood there, there were no dangers of breaking this moment of peace. A simple gesture, just a hug. But one that implied so much. Despite all that had transpired, not just that night, but since the covert relationship began. Without words, they expressed mutual wants. He needed her, just as she needed him. And for once, it wasn't about a physical attraction. For once, neither of them looked over their shoulders in fear of being caught. For as long as they stood there, in each others arms, they were at peace. No concerns or worries at the moment, no words passing between them. It was just them.

A man and a woman.

Perhaps it was what they needed, or perhaps one of them was searching for the right words to say. Whatever the case, they remained in that same spot; seeking comfort in one another's arms. All the redheaded Diva knew at that point was, things had changed. In the time frame of less than an hour, just an insignificant passage in the grand scheme of things, there was change. Stacy's news had been a bombshell to say the least, but in some regards..it was a relief. If she had been thinking clearly, leading with her heart rather than her mind; Lita would've clearly seen it as the opening she needed. But the guilt was still weighing too heavily upon her heart .. And the confusion. Still the underlying confusion behind it all. A jaded heart, too afraid to take a chance.

"I-"

"Don't ask me to leave.."

The redhead pursed her lips, her cheek resting upon his chest. "I can't ask you to stay.."

His hand cupped the small of her back, the other threading through her hair. "Why not?"

Her mouth parted, heart in conflict with her mind. "Because, you shouldn't be here."

The Legend Killer shook his head, his chin resting atop crimson locks. "Then why am I here?"

She frowned, at a loss for how to answer that particular question. "Well.."

"Well…?" He prompted then, drawing back a fraction to gaze down at her. "Why am I still here?"

'Because I'm a fool, that's why…' her mind argued then, but her heart protested. "You're here because.."

Randy raised an eyebrow, a smirk curling at the corners of his mouth. "That's a start…"

Lita rolled her eyes, "I really don't think this is funny, do you?"

"Not the point," Randy stated rather matter of factly. "So? Why am I still here?"

Her shoulders lifted imperceptibly, the redhead looking away. "I don't know."

"That I find hard to believe," Randy hooked a finger under chin, bringing her eyes back to his. "Earlier you asked me to leave, why didn't you do that again?"

"Because I felt sorry for you." Lita stated bluntly, "Why else?"

The Legend Killer frowned, "You pity me."

"Yeah, and…? Given what just happened…"

His knuckles grazed her cheek a moment before his hand cupped her shoulder. "What about it?"

The redhead blinked, "Umm..where should I start? I'm not sure how much you heard but-"

"I heard enough," He stated nonchalantly, "So, my girlfriend is pregnant…by one of my friends apparently."

Curiously, she inclined her head. "And that doesn't bother you?"

He shrugged, "I'm human…yeah, it bothers me. But what can I really do about it? I knew they had dated."

Confusion shone bright in her hazel depths, "Then, what are you going to do? It'd be pretty inconsiderate if you just broke things off like that…"

"And do what then? Pretend that I'm okay with it?" Randy rolled his eyes, the hand on her shoulder joining the other at the small of her back. "I can't do that."

The redhead sighed, removing her hands from his back. "Then what are you going to do?"

Randy shrugged, his hands splaying…one across her mid back, the other over the small of her back. "Do we have to talk about this…?"

Lita made a face, "All I'm trying to do, is be a friend. Stacy is one of my friends, Dawn's my best friend.."

"And what am I? Your fuck friend?"

The redhead brought her hands up to his chest, as if to push him away. "I just think you should be more concerned about your relationship with Stacy."

Randy let out a bitter laugh, "What relationship, huh? My relationship with her, .. I don't know right now."

"So you're just going to abandon it?" Lita shook her head, "Pretty cold hearted."

"And…? Are you _sure_ you heard her right? She's fucking pregnant, by one of my best friends."

"But she didn't cheat on you." The redhead stated tactfully, "And besides, you said you knew that they had dated."

"Look," Randy put his hands on her shoulders. "I'm aware that you're just trying to help a friend … maybe speaking from experience because whatever agreement, you, Matt and Kane had worked out .. Or didn't work out from what I remember.. but don't compare this to what you've been through."

Lita frowned, putting some distance between herself and the Legend Killer. She stepped back on her heels, trying to shrug his hands off her shoulders. "I'm not trying to compare it Randy because they are two different situations.. It's just that .. I understand what Stacy is going through and what she will be going through."

Randy nodded, one of his hands jamming into a pant pocket. "Yeah well, the way I see it .. This is Stacy and John's problem."

The Diva shook her head defiantly, "It's not _just _their problem. You're just as much a part of it as-"

"As who…? You?"

"Don't put words in my mouth." Lita intoned firmly, "Stacy is going to need all the support she can get."

"I'm aware of that Li, but…" Randy shrugged, raking a hand over his hair. "Does that mean I have to stay with her? No, it doesn't. Does it mean I should stay with her? No, it doesn't."

"But then you'll just be turning your back on her, and that's just not right."

"Don't put words in my mouth." Randy stated crisply. "I'm not going to turn my back on her, but give me a break here. I just found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. .. And not by me, by one of my friends. I remember how _well _Matt took that news.. How do you think I feel?"

Lita's lips pressed into a thin line, "I'm just saying that she's going to need all the support she can get."

"I know that."

"Then, I'll ask again .. What are you going to do?"

"Why does it matter right now?" Randy expelled an agitated sigh, "Or are you just looking for another way, to push me out?"

The redhead rolled her eyes, turning her back on him then. "I'm not trying to-"

Randy scoffed, "Bullshit."

Lita raised an eyebrow, spinning on heel. "What the fuck is your problem? I'm just trying to look at the bigger picture here."

"What the fuck is _my_ problem?" Randy repeated disbelievingly, "What the fuck is yours?"

The redhead placed her hands on her hips. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it means, Li .. What is your problem? This bigger picture, as you choose to call it, doesn't really concern you."

Lita snorted, "On the contrary, it involves two of my friends so-"

"And you can't put yourself first?" Randy crossed his arms over his chest, "You choose to involve yourself so you can overlook your own problems."

"I have no problems."

Randy rolled his eyes, "Uh huh.. You have no problems. Riiight, I believe that."

"Then what are my problems, huh?"

Randy shrugged, "I can't say for sure cuz you won't talk to me about shit."

Lita's hands flailed before her. "Then how can you say I have problems? Are you a mind reader?"

The Legend Killer let out a frustrated sigh, "Look, all I really know.. Is that before Stacy got here? We were actually having a civil conversation. Before I found about this new problem? We were talking about _our _problem."

The redhead licked her lips, "You want to talk about that again? Okay, let's talk about it … Matter of fact? Here's the solution. We break it off, here and now. That works for me, how about you?"

Randy sputtered, "Excuse me? You call that talking about it?"

"What 's left to talk about?" Lita shook her head, raking a hand through her hair. "Like I said before Randy, it's for the best and it's what has to happen."

"For the best.." Randy echoed as he took a step towards her. "How is it for the best?"

"Not the brightest crayon in the box are we?" Lita quipped easily, the redhead ignoring the sharp pang of emptiness she felt. "It's for the best because, it takes some stress off of an already complicated situation."

Randy nodded slowly, "And you're completely okay with doing that?"

"I'm fully prepared to…I have been for awhile."

"That wasn't my question." Randy stated then, taking another step towards her. "Are you okay with letting go?"

The redhead opened her mouth to respond, but..words failed her at that point. She didn't want to let go, but it was for the best… wasn't it? If they continued things, or on the off chance that they actually decided to pursue a real relationship .. It would just make things that much more complicated. And who was to really say that the current situation wouldn't repeat itself? What if Randy got bored with her.. Granted yes, they had been carrying on the intricate arrangement of rendezvous' for quite some time and it worked.. But what if that changed? Could they really make a 'normal' relationship work? Or perhaps the more pressing issue was .. Could she let go of the protective barriers she had so carefully surrounded herself with?

Was she truly ready to trust him?

……..

Silence reigned once more, Randy standing but a few inches before her. Less than an arms length away and yet .. Still so far. Hazel orbs stared intently at her feet, the redheaded Diva not quite trusting herself to meet his intense gaze. Her instincts were telling her to just say .. To hell with it all. This could work, if she would just give it a chance. But, the more logical part of her .. The part that still bore the pain of her past, the part that instigated her protective mechanisms .. That part was still screaming no. He sounded sincere enough, and if the Diva had bothered to look .. She would see the brutal honesty written on his features.

Lita cleared her throat, tentatively glancing upwards. "I .. I just.." Her resolve fell for a moment, the redhead sucking in a sharp breath. "I-"

"You…?"

She steeled herself, her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides. "We need to stop…whatever this is…? It has to end .. And it has to end now."

"Is that what you want?"

She swallowed down a choked sob, "Yes."

He nodded slowly, "So that's it then…? You're just going to walk away from this without a second thought."

The redhead nodded, "This is it."

Randy's fingers curled and uncurled, "And you're sure this what you want.."

She nodded feebly, "Positive."

He remained silent for a moment, his hands reaching out to her, cupping her face. "Why?"

Lita flinched at the pained look in his eyes, "Don't make this any harder than it has to be."

Randy shook his head, the pads of his thumb brushing her cheeks. "Why?"

Her eyes squeezed shut, "Please .. Just leave."

He shook his head once more, waiting until her eyes locked with his. "Just tell me.. Why?"

She bit her lip, her heart pounding in her ears.. Her lips parted, the redhead preparing to answer. "I-"

"Just give me the answer .. And I'll walk out."

The redhead held his gaze, her eyes growing bright with tears that she refused to shed. And still, Randy waited. His hands dropped from her face, cupping her shoulders momentarily before they roamed over her arms. Lita shivered involuntarily, trying desperately to ignore the familiar touch as her head bowed. Calloused fingertips trailed over well known paths. One hand eventually finding one of hers, open palm to open palm..before their fingers intertwined. His free hand trailed upwards again, tucking back a rebellious strand of hair from her face. He lifted her chin gently, a spark passing between them when their eyes locked. A lopsided smile grew on his face, his mouth hovering centimeters away from her ear in an instant.

"So…" He drew the word out lazily, his breath tickling the fine hairs on her neck. "Tell me why.."

She sucked in a sharp breath, a tear trailing down her cheek. She dropped her hand from his grasp, taking a step back. "Just leave."

He shook his head, reaching for her again..his hands gripping her hips as he brought her closer to him. "That's not an answer."

Another tear escaped, the emotional struggle playing freely on her face. "Just leave." She repeated brokenly.

Again, he shook his head. One hand firmly grasping the small of her back, while the other traveled upwards, catching the tear on the tip of his index finger. "Tell me why."

She swallowed thickly, "Just-"

He cut her off, abruptly brushing his mouth over hers. "When you have a _real _answer .. Talk to me, alright?" The Legend Killer released her then, brushing his fingertips over her cheek before he turned.

Her breath caught in her throat, a hand reaching for him as he opened the door.. And walked out. He closed the door quietly behind him, but the lone noise echoed in her ears. She sunk to her knees, her head bowing again…the tears flowing freely down her cheeks. The redhead wanted to go after him, but at that moment..she couldn't find it in herself to move. So instead, she cried .. Releasing the pain to the silence of the room. Emptiness overtook her.. Her mind was numb and her heart was aching. Listlessly, she stood..the tears still flowing as she packed up her suitcase. She needed to get away from it all right now. She needed to sort out her feelings, sift through the emotions..bring them to surface. But she couldn't do that with him in the proximity.

By the time she reached the hotel lobby, the tears had stopped flowing but the pain had magnified. She realized that yes, she was running away from her problems. But, she also knew that she just wasn't ready to face those problems. She did care for Randy, but .. She didn't know if she was ready to trust him yet. She wanted to, but the underlying doubt prevented her from making any decision at this point in time. So, instead .. She waited for the taxi .. Her mind still reeling from the events of that night. But, as the taxi took her to the airport, she was determined to find the answers that were just at the surface in her heart but in the far recesses of her mind. And she knew just the place that she had to go.


	6. Finding Myself

**Self Indulgence**

**Disclaimer: **I lay claim to nothing that you recognize. Period.

**Spoilers: **Ha..ha…no.

**Rating: **R for explicit content and language

**Summary: **Things aren't always as perfect as they seem….

**Notes: **Nothing that hasn't been said already…I'm sorry with the length between updates, just the whole situation regarding Matt/Lita/Edge .. It's made it kinda hard for me to write Matt in the role that he's in.

**Thanks to: **everyone who reviewed the last chapter.

………………………………..

She had called from the airport, before she got on the plane .. To let them know she would be there within the next five hours. Of course, she hadn't mentioned anything about her recent talk with Randy…really it didn't make sense since none of them knew what she was going through. But, none the less, the redhead found some comfort. Even though they didn't spend as much time with each other as they had in the past, they were still close. The Hardy brothers, Shane Helms and on occasion Shannon Moore. And herself, of course. Really, she was closer with Matt and Jeff .. But recently she had grown closer with Shane. Simply because, with Matt out from his knee surgery .. It made sense to travel with one of the company's resident 'Super Hero's.' But, even on those travels .. She never made any mention of the under cover relationship she was carrying on with the Legend Killer. Instead, she and Shane would discuss music, movies, living in North Carolina…anything so long as it didn't pertain to their careers. But, that really wasn't the point right now, the point was .. She was returning home.

Home.

It was funny to use that term, because in a sense, many of the wrestlers on both rosters pegged many places as home. Their hometown, a familiar arena, in the locker rooms, at the hotels, even the busses they used on the road. Home was just a place where you felt comfortable. Comfortable enough to be your true self. And recently, the aforementioned places -with the exception being her hometown- none of those places resembled home. Home right now, was Jeff Hardy's front porch or Matt Hardy's backyard. Home right now, was Shane Helms' living room. Home right now, ..at this point in time .. Was anywhere that Randy Orton was not. Which was why, in spite of the personal hell she was going through, a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as the plane touched down. Just seeing Jeff and Matt right now, would do her a world of good. Of course, it went without saying, she knew she would be on the receiving end of a mini-Spanish Inquisition. But, even that thought prevented to wipe the tiny smile from her face. Granted yes, Shane and Shannon would more than likely not be there .. But right now, the redhead needed Matt and Jeff.

"Maybe I should've waited .. " Lita thought aloud as she entered the nearly deserted airport. "Of course, I did call .. But that's no guarantee that-"

"Li!" Jeff Hardy grinned from ear to ear, wrapping up the redheaded woman for a hug. "Hey girl."

The redhead beamed for the first time in a long time, wrapping her arms around the familiar form. "Hey you.."

Jeff rubbed her back a moment, "What's goin' on Li-Li?"

The redhead let out a sigh against his shoulder. "I promised Matt I'd explain to both of you..and besides which, I'm not really up for spilling anything in airport terminal."

Jeff rolled his eyes, pulling back from the redhead. "Fair enough then…ya' got any bags with ya?"

"Just one." Lita replied as she swept her hair from her face, a playful look in her hazel depths. "Unlike some people .. I pack light."

The younger Hardy just shrugged, a sheepish smile on his face as the two made their way to the baggage claim. "So … I know ya said you cain't tell me 'til Matt's 'round .. But .."

"Sorry Jeffro." Lita smiled sadly, "Deal's a deal."

Jeff raised a brow, "Must be a pretty big deal then baby girl…"

"Let's just get the suitcase, yeah?" The redhead nudged her friend playfully, "I hope you got some food handy, I'm starving."

The TNA star just rolled his eyes, grabbing the suitcase as the redhead indicated. "Well, I'm sure between me an' Matt we've got something layin' around that'll satisfy that stomach of yours."

Lita raised a brow, a teasing tone to her voice. "An' you two wonder why I don't visit.."

Jeff just shook his head, the two making their way to the near empty parking lot in silence. "So, what brings ya' home girl?"

"Not now Jeff." The redhead persisted, a tiny yawn escaping her. "I promised Matt, remember?"

Green eyes twinkled with mischief. "I know that.." Jeff quipped easily, opening the side passenger door. "This ain't my car."

Lita blinked, "What the.."

Jeff nodded to the car, "Go in an' see for yourself Li-Li."

The redheaded Diva's face scrunched as she climbed into the familiar vehicle. "Ohmygosh!"

"Hey Red.."

"Hey yourself!" Lita replied with a smile. "Why didn't you come in to the airport with Jeff?"

"He was sleepin' that's why." Jeff informed the redhead as he tossed her suitcase into the trunk. "But he wanted to come along anyway."

The redhead grinned, "It's good to see you.." She glanced between both Hardy brothers as Jeff settled into the driver's seat. "Both of you."

"It's good to have ya with us again, baby girl." The younger Hardy brother stated solemnly. "You had us both worried."

"I'm sorry.." The redhead replied honestly, "I just didn't know where else I could go.."

Matt nodded from the backseat, "Did ya tell Shane?'

Lita shook her head, "Nah .. I was more concerned about just getting out of there."

Matt and Jeff exchanged a look, the younger of the two speaking up first. "It's alright Li-Li, you can always count on us."

"I know.." Lita stated wistfully, "Can we just go now?"

"Home it is.." Jeff answered with a grin, "But we're callin' Shane first thing, alright…?

"Fine, fine.." Lita rested her head against the cool surface of the window. "I just want to go .. Relax for a bit."

"An' tell us all 'bout your problem, right?" Jeff prompted as he maneuvered the vehicle out of the parking lot. "Chris didn't know a thing either baby girl."

"I know." Came the solemn reply. "Not many people do."

At that, the occupants of the car fell silent. Neither Jeff or Matt had a clue as to what was going on…and Lita didn't appear to be in an overly talkative mood at the moment. Still though, they both reasoned, that by her being here .. With them, she was at least taking some sort of step. Whether it was a step back or a step forward, they weren't really sure. What they did know was that something or maybe someonehad lead the redhead home. Now it was just a matter of figuring out what and why. And really.. Since Jeff had left the WWE anyway, these moments were becoming rare. Granted yes, they always had certain times of the year that they would get together. Shane and Shannon would be there, often times so would Beth. And even during those times, the three of them would always share their own private moment. Just reliving the days when Team X-Treme was in full force. Reminiscing about the camaraderie they had .. Part of that, they missed, and part of it was better left unsaid. They had their share of ups and downs, but in the end they all agreed- that's how any family operated. And even if Lita wasn't related by blood, her relationships individually with Matt and individually with Jeff, had formed a bond between them all.

……………

By the time they arrived at Jeff's house, Lita hadn't uttered a word and from the backseat; Matt was equally silent. Much of Jeff's attention was pre-occupied with the road, but on occasion, green eyes would drift to the redheaded woman in the passengers seat. Still, neither Matt or Jeff pressed for any details yet. They had dealt with her long enough to realize that, when the time was right, she would tell them what was bothering her. The three exited the vehicle in contemplative silence, the redhead seemingly in her own world while the two Hardy brothers were just concerned. But, still they waited .. Until they got in the house anyway. And no sooner were all three settled, Lita flanked on either side by Matt and Jeff; did the confession and subsequent questioning begin.

"Alright.." The redhead said finally, a soft sigh escaping her. "I know y'all want to know why I'm here.."

"Whenever you're ready Li-Li," Jeff smiled, squeezing the redhead's hand for support.

Lita nodded, a shaky smile sent to either brother. "I don't know where to start… and if I start at the beginning, Lord knows how long we'll be sitting here.."

Matt nodded then, "Just start from wherever Red."

Again, the redhead nodded, sucking in a sharp breath before she began her tale. "It all started when you jumped over to RAW. Nothing actually happened…just that was the first night that he and I ran into each other .. Talked to each other barely, but nothing beyond that."

"Who is he?"

Hazel eyes fluttered shut, "Randy Orton.."

Matt simply nodded, squeezing the redhead's hand as a sign for her to go on.

"After that, we ran into each other once in awhile. We talked maybe once or twice, but it was really nothing more than that, ya know? He was with Evolution at the time, and well .. We all know how my relations are with Triple H.." The redhead trailed off with another sigh, another breath taken before she continued. "It wasn't until that night with Kane that things really started. By that time - and as you both know - I really wasn't looking for a relationship. If anything well .. I don't have to go into that right now and-"

"We know Li-Li.." Jeff interrupted gently, "Just go on, okay?'

The redhead nodded, "That night .. I ran into him again. I was at some bar outside of town, for whatever reasons or another, so was he. One thing lead to another and .. That was the first time we slept together. Honestly, I thought it would be the last but…"

"But..?"

"I found out otherwise," The redhead stated quietly, "We'd meet in my hotel room, or he'd come to my house or .. Just whatever, you know? He was there for me when I needed someone .. And I know I have you two, I know I have Shane, Chris and Chris .. All of you guys, but. .. I think I needed someone who hadn't been directly involved in my life for such a long time."

Matt raised a questioning eyebrow then, "What happened Li-Li..? Why aren't you with him now?"

"Last month he started seeing Stacy.. I knew that day would come, and I knew that .. If I wanted anything, I had to say something. But I was just scared." Lita trailed off again, burying her face in her hands. "So, instead of saying anything, I wished him the best with Stacy."

Jeff placed a hand on the redhead's shoulder. "Baby girl .. You cain't punish yourself like that.."

"I know that Jeff, but I just didn't want to get hurt .. I don't know how he feels about me and-"

"Did you ever ask?"

The redhead nodded marginally, "I asked him tonight but .. We kinda got interrupted."

Jeff rubbed the redhead's back. "What happened?"

"That doesn't really matter .. I mean, Randy's said he'd break up with Stacy and that he wants me but, I just don't know if I can believe him."

Jeff exchanged a look with his brother behind the redhead's back. "Baby girl .. How do you feel about him?"

The redhead's shoulders lifted a fraction. "I care about him .. I'm attracted to him, but-"

"I ain't askin' if you love him." Jeff stated rather bluntly. "I'm just askin' how do you feel about him?"

"That's just it Jeff…" The redhead trailed off, her shoulders slumping then. "I don't know.."

Jeff grimaced, "I find that hard to believe Li-Li .. You wouldn't be this torn over it, if you didn't have any feelin's for him."

"Why didn't you tell us before Li..?" Matt spoke up then, the dark haired man leaning forwards to rest his elbows on his knees. "We're your best friends."

"I didn't think you'd understand." The redhead admitted quietly, "I told Vikki about it and .. She just thinks I should tell him how I feel and just get it over with.."

Jeff nodded in agreement, "That's what you're gonna hafta do baby girl. .. You cain't run forever."

"I'm not running." Lita insisted shakily, "I just needed to step back and clear my head."

Jeff sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "Then tell me something. .. If he was here, right now .. What would you say to him..?"

There was a moments pause, the redheaded Diva gathering her thoughts in that passage of time.

"I'd tell him how I feel .. And I'd tell him how much he means to me.."

"Why couldn't you do that before?"

Lita shrugged, "I was scared Jeff .. How many times do I have to-"

"Li, look at me an' listen to me.." Jeff waited until the redhead was looking at him, he brushing back her hair from her face. "You can't run from him .. An' you wanna know why? It's because he's here .. He's with you even when you try to distance yourself from him .. If he's told you he wants you, told you he wants to be with you .. Baby girl, you have to just trust that. .. We ain't gonna judge you for what you did Li-Li .. But we will be mad at ya' if you cain't make up your mind.. You're hurtin' yourself."

"I can't face him right now."

"You're gonna hafta face him sooner or later Li-Li."

"I know but-"

"No buts about it Li." Matt interrupted then. "You hafta let him know. I know you're afraid, I know you're scared, but if you cain't take that chance..? You'll just be that much more hurt."

The redhead sniffled, "That means a lot to me Matt .."

Matt leaned over, gently kissing the redhead's temple. "You deserve to be happy Red .. An' if he makes you happy…? Be with him."

The three fell silent then, the redhead soon succumbing to her bodies demand for rest. And instead of moving her, Matt and Jeff moved from the couch. Jeff parking himself in front of the couch, while Matt fell asleep in a nearby chair. They weren't sure when they fell asleep, they just knew that for once .. All seemed peaceful. Granted yes, they were worried about what would happen when the redhead left them .. But at the same time, they were relieved. Although she hadn't told them from the get go, and Matt admitted, that part made him angry .. That she couldn't trust them .. At least she had told them now. He just wished she had said something then .. Then maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't be in the current state of torment that she was in now.

…….

The next morning, Jeff Hardy was roused by the persistent ringing of his doorbell. And, being that it was in the morning .. And that he didn't know who would be calling this early, he ignored it. If it was really that important, then the visitor should have a house key. After all, most of his close friends did .. It was just how things were between them all. Sure enough, the ringing stopped .. And Jeff rolled back to his side, his head cushioned on one of the couch pillows. Matt was still sound asleep in the chair, while Lita had curled up on one of the cushions. All in all, the three of them were asleep..and very asleep. But, that did nothing to prevent the visitors from sneaking in through one of the windows. Of course, if they had tried, they would've found out that the back door had been left open. But, they hadn't, and as such landed in a small heap of arms and legs beneath one of the living room windows. That noise was enough for both Jeff and Matt to wake up, the two half awake brothers scrambling quickly to their feet.

"What the fuck?" Jeff demanded of the intruders. "It's-"

"Almost 11:00 in the morning." Shane Helms informed him with a wry smile as he picked himself out of the small pile. "An you didn't answer your door."

Jeff rolled his eyes, "Yeah…? We had a long night."

Shane raised a brow in turn, thumbing over his shoulder then. "Dude, we just drove all night."

Matt nodded to the two, sending a glance to the still sleeping redhead. "Shane .. Randy."

Randy nodded in turn, jamming his hands in his pants pockets. "How long has she been sleeping…?"

Jeff shrugged, perching carefully on the arm of the couch. "Dunno .. She was tired I guess .."

The Legend Killer nodded, blue eyes focused intently on the still sleeping Diva. "Did she tell you…?"

Matt and Jeff nodded in unison, "Yeah she told us .."

Randy nodded, perching on the opposite arm of the couch. "I don't know what else to do."

Matt nodded then, raking a hand through his disheveled dark locks. "Just be honest with her .. Give her some time .."

Jeff nodded in agreement, "She's confused .. That's all." The green eyed man waited until Randy had torn his gaze from the Diva. "But if you hurt her in any way? I won't stop 'til I find you an' beat the living hell out of you."

Randy held up his hands in defense, looking between the three. "I won't .. that's the last thing I'll do."

Matt opened his mouth to respond when, the redhead started stirring on the couch. At first, she didn't wake up .. Merely her legs stretched until her toes were nearly touching the opposite arm. Then, sleepily, she blinked, groggy hazel eyes glancing upwards to lock with gentle green. Jeff smiled down at her, nodding opposite him. It took a moment for the redhead to catch on, hazel eyes seeking out the familiar form of Matt Hardy .. Then falling on Shane Helms before she caught sight of Randy. At that, her breath caught .. The Diva slowly sitting up, only to curl into the arm of the couch that Jeff was occupying.

The younger Hardy cleared his throat, looking between Shane and Matt. "I think we'll go get lunch or something.."

Matt nodded in turn, "Yeah .. We'll be back Li-Li."

Shane merely nodded in farewell, the three exiting the house shortly after.

And when the front door shut, Randy moved from the arm of the couch, settling on the couch cushion instead. He watched as the redheaded Diva shifted uncomfortably, Lita subsequently tucking her legs beneath her .. Arms wrapping around her, as if to shield herself. And that was how they remained for another five minutes. Five minutes passed, until the redhead finally glanced at him, the Legend Killer holding her gaze. She had tried to run, but he had followed. She had tried to end things, but he hadn't given up .. Yet. Him being here now, was proof of that. And as the redheaded Diva searched her mind for words, she thought back to what Jeff and Matt had told her.

Now was the time to tell him, no looking back.


	7. A Breakthrough

**Self Indulgence **

Disclaimer: I lay claim to nothing that you recognize. Period.

Spoilers: Ha..ha…no.

Rating: R for explicit content and language

Summary: Things aren't always as perfect as they seem….

Notes: Nothing that hasn't been said already…I'm sorry with the length between updates, just the whole situation regarding Matt/Lita/Edge .. After intially deciding to end with this chapter, I'll continue instead of writing the sequel. At times, Randy/Lita will be more of a background pair, but they'll still be there.

Thanks to: everyone who reviewed the last chapter and to everyone who has reviewed the story. I can honestly say, I didn't expect to get much feedback, but I appreciate each and everyone of you more than you'll ever know.

………………………………...

The redheaded Diva swallowed thickly, words on the tip of her tongue and yet; when she finally found her voice. There were no harbored declarations. Rather, the Diva inquired as to why Randy had followed her.

"You followed me.." Lita stated bluntly, brushing back a strand of hair from her face.

"You ran." Randy retorted smoothly, one arm laying casually along the back of the couch.

The redhead paused, debating what to say next. "Well, I.."

"Why did you run?"

"Why did you follow?"

The Legend Killer smirked, a boyish twinkle in his blue depths. "I asked you first."

Lita rolled her eyes, "I needed some space.."

Randy shrugged, "Fair enough.. I just think we have a few loose ends to tie up."

Hesitantly, the Diva nodded in agreement. "You could say that."

Again, the Legend Killer shrugged. "I made up my mind about something .. Since Shane and I had a bit of driving to do, I had a lot of time to think."

"Can I say something…?"

"When I'm finished." Randy promised with a smile, "Can I go on now?"

The Diva nodded, shifting so that she was facing him, her legs still tucked beneath her.

"Like I said, we had a bit of driving .. And I came to a conclusion. But, before you jump to your own conclusions, -you- have nothing to do with it. I just can't pretend that I'm okay with the fact that my girlfriend…or ex girlfriend…is pregnant by some other guy. I don't know when I'll do it, but I'm breaking up with her."

Randy paused to gather his thoughts, and Lita took that moment to add her own two cents. "That's pretty heartless of you."

"Maybe it is, but I need to do what's right for me .. I never said I'd completely turn my back on her, just .." Randy trailed off with another shrug, "It'll be easier for me to be her friend, and be John's friend."

The corners of the Diva's mouth creased with a frown. "I still don't see how-"

"I'm not asking you to understand it." Randy cut her off evenly, "I'm just saying, I need to do what's right for me."

"If you say so."

"Whatever," was Randy's reply. "Besides, it has nothing to do with you. Even if we weren't doing .. Whatever it is we're doing, I would've come to that same conclusion."

The Diva gave a small shake of her head, "I still don't think it's right."

The Legend Killer eyed her evenly, "And that's your opinion, we're all entitled to them."

The redhead simply nodded, "Fine..then-"

"I also thought about us, what we have.." Randy trailed off, holding the redhead's gaze. "And, I've made up my mind about that too."

Lita's forehead etched slightly with confusion, "And…?"

"If you want to walk away, forget this all happened? Fine. We'll do that." Randy shrugged again, leaning forwards to rest his elbows on his thighs. "I don't know if you're the one for me, I don't know if I want to find the one for me right now anyway."

The Diva blinked, something akin to hurt in her hazel orbs. "So that's it then?"

The Legend Killer raked a hand over his hair, "Yes..and no."

A slim hand reached upwards, nimble fingers tucking rebellious strands in place. "Can you-"

"Yes because, if you want to walk away and not look back…?" Blue eyes turned to her then, honesty written clearly on his features. "Then fine, I'll do that. We'll just go back to how it was before this all started."

Lita nodded, "And the other part?"

Randy's shoulders lifted marginally, "I'd like to give it a shot, see if we can make it work. If we can't, at least we tried.. But I'm not about to walk away without trying…" He trailed off then, a smile lifting at the corners of his mouth. "If there's anything you know about me? You should know I don't quit."

The redhead fell silent after that, blue eyes locking with hazel in a clash of wills. They remained like that until the redhead broke the gaze, looking away to focus on a picture on the opposite wall.

…….

Granted yes, the redheaded Diva still wasn't in complete agreement about how Randy was going to handle the whole Stacy, John situation. But, at the same time, it really wasn't her concern. Yes, both Stacy and Dawn Marie were her friends, but .. As Randy had pointed out, the Queen of Extreme was not directly involved. Lita couldn't ignore the sharp pang of emptiness she felt when Randy had said he was prepared to walk away without a second thought. Even though the same words had fallen from her lips less than 24 hours prior; hearing it from Randy just made it ..different. The Diva questioned if perhaps, that was how he had felt when she had said it. Looking at him now, part of her was tempted to answer yes.

And like Randy, she wasn't one to give up so easily. But, there was still something weighing heavily on her mind. She had come to some sort of conclusion on her feelings for him .. But how did he feel about her..?

"I just want to know," The redhead said finally, the Diva aware enough to feel the shift of the couch beneath her. "How do you-"

"Feel about you?" The Legend Killer finished as he settled next to her, a touch of his hand to her cheek. "If you're asking me if I love you? No, I don't."

The Diva couldn't prevent the flinch at those words, but rather than saying something then .. She waited for him to continue.

"You won't let me know you well enough to even think about that…" He admitted honestly, "I care about you, I like you .. But you won't let me get close to you."

The redhead nodded, "Yeah well .. I can't help that."

"So I've learned," Randy stated then, a wry smile forming at the corners of his mouth. "And so I was informed on the way here."

An eyebrow raised at that, the Diva's curiosity peaked. "What did Shane say…?"

"First he said, if I really wanted to know? I should talk to Matt or Jeff." Randy shrugged, "That thought hadn't really crossed my mind, but .. The gist of it all was, to give you time, give you some space. I mean, really, what you've been through..? It's not exactly top secret information."

"Yeah.."

"So, that's what I'm willing to do, if you're willing to let me."

Lita paused again, another rebellious strand tucked back. "Can I say something first…?"

Randy nodded, bridging his hands together. "Go ahead."

The Diva nodded, smoothing down the wrinkles in her shirt. "On the way here, I did some thinking .. And after I got here, I had a little talk with Matt and Jeff .. I'm sure Shane explained this part to you, but Jeff and Matt know me inside out."

"He mentioned that."

"Right well, I meant what I said when I told you I needed some space. I figured you wouldn't follow me here, that you'd just give me that time and that space. Part of me is pretty pissed off that you did follow me, but .. I'm also thankful that you did."

Lita paused again to gather her thoughts, and Randy waited until she was ready to speak; blue eyes settling intently on her.

"Before you got there last night, Victoria and Lillian had stopped by. Lill doesn't know as much as Vikki, but they've both been pretty supportive about this whole thing. Well.." She trailed off with a shaky laugh, "Supportive really isn't the word I'm looking for, I guess what I meant to say is .. They've been there for me when I needed someone to talk to…"

"Uh huh."

"Anyway, after talking to them, then to you .. Then after talking to Matt and Jeff, I finally sorted things out .. I care about you, I like you and all, I'm just afraid that I'm going to get hurt. I can't say that I love you either, because honestly Randy? We still don't know each other…whether that's my fault or not, I don't think it matters that much, but I-"

The Legend Killer nodded, "I can't make you any promises Li, but .. On the premise that if I do hurt you, I'll receive bodily harm?"

Lita shook her head, "I'm not asking you to make me any promises Randy. Promises usually get broken anyway and .. Who threatened you?"

Randy chuckled, "Jeff actually."

"Why am I not surprised .." The redhead rolled her eyes, sweeping her hair from her face once more. "Part of me just wants to walk away, just forget this all happened and really start fresh .. From the ground up or whatever."

Randy nodded, "Like I said, if that's what you want-"

"I'm not finished." The Diva held up a hand, a tiny smile on her face. "The other part of me wants to take the chance, and see if we can make this whole relationship thing work."

The Legend Killer hesitantly nodded, "On what conditions…?"

The redhead raised a baffled eyebrow, "What do you mean by that?"

A knowing smirk formed on Randy's face. "That look on your face right now.. You say you're willing but, on what conditions?"

"And you say you don't know me," The redhead muttered dryly, "I don't want to start anything that resembles official .. Until you've broken things off with Stacy."

At that, Randy raised an eyebrow, "Why? So your conscience can feel better or something?"

Lita raised a brow in turn, "This has been wrong from the beginning Orton, I think it's about time we do something right."

Randy flashed a lecherous grin, "Baby, we always do something right."

"Pervert, you know what I meant."

The Legend Killer rolled his eyes, "If that's what you want.."

The Diva nodded, "That's what I want."

Randy tilted his chin, "And if I say no?"

The redhead's forehead furrowed. "Then you say no, and we walk away."

Silence fell between them again, the Diva giving it her all to mask the disappointment in her eyes. She buried her face in her hands, her elbows propped upon her knees. Mentally, she prepared herself for the inevitable rejection. It almost seemed silly that morals would somehow play a part in the grand scheme of things now .. But at the same time, the redhead felt it just wouldn't be right otherwise. She knew how it felt to just have your significant other up and walk away, so perhaps, part of her was looking out for Stacy. On the other hand, since she and Randy had continued their covert affair despite the fact that he was with Stacy .. Maybe it was just her way of making things right, if only in her mind. And if that meant giving up whatever chance she had with Randy .. She was prepared to do it.

…….

Again, the Diva felt the shift of the couch beneath her. But this time, instead of Randy sitting next to her; he was kneeling before her. She felt his hands closing over hers, the Legend Killer prying her fingers from her face. He took her hands in his, the Diva again feeling the shift of the couch as he settled next to her once more. Yet, hazel orbs still turned downwards, Lita still preparing herself for the rejection. It wasn't until one of his hands left hers, a finger hooking beneath her chin; did she finally gaze at him. The look on his face, caused her breath to catch; her lips parting to bid the final words of farewell when he stopped her. First, his hand slipped from her face; trailing to the back of her neck. He urged her face closer to his, fingers threading loosely through her hair as his lips sought out hers. But, just as the kiss deepened, a cough emanating from the doorway broke them apart.

Jeff Hardy smirked, the first of the three returning to enter the house. "I take it went well for y'all?"

The redhead offered a sheepish smile, "You could say that .."

"Well good," Shane Helms spoke up as he entered after Jeff. "That means I didn't drive all night for nothing."

Randy rolled his eyes, an arm wrapping around Lita's shoulders. "You didn't drive all night.."

Shane scoffed in disbelief, "Your ass sure as hell didn't drive."

"I'm not arguing that," Randy shrugged, waiting a beat to add: "We stopped twice, so it wasn't all night."

Shane rolled his eyes, plopping down into a nearby chair. "Which reminds me .. You owe me for gas."

Jeff raised a brow, "Just gas? Shoot, if I was you…? I'd charge his ass for draggin' me out in the middle of the night to drive."

"Hey Jeff .. Where's Matt?"

Jeff tossed the redhead a nonchalant look, "Went home .. To take a nap or something.. Sleepin' in that chair didn't do any good for his knee."

"I see .." The redhead chewed thoughtfully on her lower lip, "I'll just call him later then or something.."

The younger Hardy nodded, "Sounds like a plan Red .. But I'm afraid, that all of y'all are gonna have to pack up and go .. I need my rest."

Lita nodded, rising from the couch along with Randy. "Thanks again Jeff…for everything."

Jeff simply shrugged, walking over to the two. "Anytime baby girl, you know that .. You're family." He grinned, ruffling the redhead's hair before he pulled her in for a quick hug. "Just, next time something like this happens…? Do me an' Matt a favor- tell us."

The redhead rolled her eyes good naturedly, "I don't intend on there bein' a next time, but .. I understand what you mean."

"Y'all want a lift?" Shane queried as he joined the trio at the door. "Or were y'all intendin' on walkin' to Sanford?"

Lita grinned impishly, "Well .. We wouldn't want to impose or nothing.."

Shane smirked, nodding then to the Legend Killer. "Nah, I'll just add this gas mileage to what he already owes me."

Randy rolled his eyes, "See if I ask you for anything again."

Shane rolled his eyes right back, "Yeah yeah, whatever .. Just don't ask again, yeah? Once is enough for me."

"Will y'all stop arguing an' just leave?" Jeff rolled his eyes at the three, "I told y'all I wanted to sleep, I cain't do that with y'all yappin' away in my doorway."

The redhead rolled her eyes, taking Randy's hand in hers. "So .. What took y'all so long anyway?"

Shane smirked, tossing his car keys in the air. "Genius here, figured we should check your place first. I tried to tell him you'd be here or at Matt's but .. He wouldn't listen."

The Diva smirked, "Well Shane, for the record? If I had a car with me, I probably would've gone home .. Then here or Matt's but I would've stopped home first."

Shane scoffed, opening the passengers side door. "Yeah right woman. Even after RAW an' all that? You stop here or at Matt's first, then you go home."

"Not always," The redhead protested lamely as she slid into the backseat of the car. "I stop at home first from time to time.."

Shane snorted, "To drop off your stuff an' that's about it. Then it's off to Matt's house or Jeff's."

"That's not entirely true." Lita persisted then, peering up at her friend as he slipped into the drivers seat. "I stay at home for a bit .. Gotta check the voice mail, get the mail and-"

"Leave a house key for him under the doormat?" Shane finished teasingly, "Or do you leave the key in a potted plant or something?"

"Actually…" Randy started as Shane pulled out of the driveway, "I have a house key."

The three fell into good natured bantering on the way to Sanford. Given that it wasn't too far away, the teasing was ended as Shane pulled into the driveway of the redheaded Diva's home. From there, Randy collected his bags from the trunk, and after that had transpired; Shane bid the two a temporary farewell. Perhaps the biggest roadblock in the budding relationship -getting feelings out in the air- had passed. But, both of them knew as the settled on the couch, that the storm was just beginning. After all, when they returned to the RAW roster; there was the issue of Lita's informing Dawn. Not to mention the important factor of the break-up on Randy's part with Stacy. However, as they settled in the living room, comfortably in one another's arms; that was the last thing on either of their minds.


	8. Take My Breath Away

**Self Indulgence**

**Disclaimer: **I lay claim to nothing that you recognize. Period.

**Spoilers: **Ha..ha…no.

**Rating: **R for explicit content and language

**Summary: **Things aren't always as perfect as they seem….

**Notes: **Nothing that hasn't been said already…I'm sorry with the length between updates, just the whole situation regarding Matt/Amy/Adam ..

**Thanks to: **everyone who reviewed the last chapter and to everyone who has reviewed the story. I can honestly say, I didn't expect to get much feedback, but I appreciate each and everyone of you more than you'll ever know.

**An Apology: **I didn't mean to abandon this story- honestly! I just started losing my creative direction and didn't want to force any of the updates. My updates for this piece will continue to be sporadic until I can find my creative direction again. At times I find it difficult to continue with this piece given certain circumstances..

Now, with that out of the way.. This chapter will be longer than the previous and full of **nothing** but Randy/Lita.. Albeit, it was a tad difficult to write as the chapter proceeded.. You'll see why (I think). Then it's back to the real world.

………………………………...

Lita never realized how small the bed was in her Sanford home.. But then, maybe it was because she hadn't slept in her own bed that much. Being on the road and all, meant little chances to really return to the comforts of home. However, as one hazel eye opened- she realized she wasn't on the bed.. For that matter, she wasn't even in her bedroom. Somehow, she had fallen asleep on the couch in her living room; a couch that really wasn't _that _small.. But seemed smaller when occupied by two people. The redheaded Diva expelled a tiny yawn, blinking rapidly in an attempt to wake up as her eyes slowly adjusted to the dimly lit living room. Had she slept the previous day away? The arm around her waist tightened, pulling her closer to the warm body behind her. A smile crept over her face, a soft sigh escaping her as she relaxed in Randy's one armed hold. His face was buried in her fiery locks, warm breath tickling the fine hairs on the back of her neck. His other arm was hidden beneath one of the throw pillows, his fingers peeking out beneath the flounce. For a moment she thought the Legend Killer was still sleeping, but when she felt the lightest of kisses brushing against her skin..

"As much as I enjoy this.." Lita began softly, a hand coming to rest over his exposed wrist. "I don't even know what time it is."

Randy chuckled ever so softly, "Why does that matter? It's not like either of us have to be anywhere anytime soon."

The redhead rolled her eyes, "That's not the point Randy. It does matter if it's night time or not.. Considering that I haven't eaten anything since dinner."

He smiled against her neck, his hand splaying over her stomach as he spoke. "Check my watch."

Absently, she flicked a glance to the aforementioned watch, informing him that it was only 3:00 p.m. in the afternoon.

"See?" He informed her with a feather light kiss to her neck, "Now go back to sleep."

She smirked though he couldn't see it, "Well since I haven't had the chance to take a real shower, I'd kinda like to do that… instead of sleeping."

"Li," he squeezed her waist tightly, "We're away from the rest of the roster.. Away from any prying eyes.. Why can't we just enjoy this while we have the chance?"

She frowned at that, "You mean when we don't have to worry about getting caught, right…? Where this doesn't look as bad as it really is."

"That's not what I meant," his exposed hand drifted to rest on her hip. "Besides- we won't have to worry about that much longer."

The frown on her face deepened as she turned awkwardly to face him. "And you're sure that's the only way to go about this…? I mean, leaving Stacy alone and-"

Randy brushed his index finger over her parted lips, his tone firm but soft when he spoke. "I don't want to talk about that right now."

Lita brought up a hand to caress his cheek, "Why are we here, Randy?"

An eyebrow arched at that, "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean what I said," her eyes fluttered shut a moment. "Why are we here.. In my living room, on this couch.."

Blue eyes shone with confusion, "Because we fell asleep?"

Lita's throat went dry, her lips suddenly parched; the redheaded Diva swallowed audibly. "Why did you follow me?"

A light frown appeared on his face, "I already told you why.. We weren't done talking in the hotel room, and I wanted some answers.. You ran, so I followed you."

Her forehead etched, "But why?"

Randy let out an exasperated sigh, "Things couldn't just end like they did.. Not after what we've gone through to keep this out of-"

She sighed, "Why don't you just say what it is, Randy. To hide this- like cowards. Two people too afraid to face the facts."

The frown on his face deepened, "The only person who's had problems facing the facts is you."

Lita blinked, emotions swirling beneath the surface of her hazel depths. "And just what are those facts, huh? The way I see it, the facts are that what we've been doing is wrong."

Randy smiled wryly, "It became wrong after a certain point, but before that? I wasn't seeing anyone and neither were you.. So how was it wrong?"

"It just was," she sighed in frustration, "Because.. You and I.. We just.. We're-"

"What?" He cut her off quietly, blue eyes gazing at her with an intensity that near startled her. "What are we, Li?"

"I don't know," Lita's meek reply came on a whisper. "I don't know what we are.. I don't know what I am to you and-"

He lifted his free hand to cup her cheek, the pad of his thumb grazing gently over the smooth surface. "Don't look for answers to questions that don't need to be answered."

"How can you say that?"

"Because its true," the movements of his thumb slowly ceased. "We don't need to answer those questions right now. We don't know what we are right now.. All that matters -right now- is that you're with me and that I'm with you."

Defiantly, she shook her head. "It won't be that way forever."

"I never said it would be," inwardly the Legend Killer sighed. "But don't think about then, focus on now. We'll figure this out as we go along, like we always have."

Lita regarded him skeptically, "Like we always have? Randy, all we've done is-"

"Think about it, Li." Randy slid his arm from beneath the pillow, propping his head in his hand. "Since this began, did you ever think about the future?"

The redhead bit her lower lip, her gaze retracting from his. "Not in depth.."

"Then why start now?"

Her eyes met his again, "Because we have to start somewhere if.." she trailed off, her voice unsure as her eyes were cast downwards. "Never mind."

Randy hooked a finger beneath her chin, gently raising her face until her eyes locked with his. "If it means that much to you, then we'll talk about it.. But not now." His finger traveled along her jaw, tracing the familiar curve. "All I want to do right now, is forget about everything else.. We're all that matters, right now."

**xoxox**

Lita held his unwavering gaze, the Diva desperately trying to search for the answers she sought. Her eyes closed again as the tip of his finger continued to travel- tracing her cheekbone, across and down her nose. Her lips parted involuntarily as he languidly traced the surface. Her breath hitched in her throat when she opened her eyes to find that he was still staring at her with all of the previous intensity. Passion burned like wildfire in her veins, his blue orbs darkening with lust as her tongue darted out to moisten her lips. Randy brushed his fingers over her forehead, smoothing back the red locks from her face. His hand held at her cheek as she brought up a hand; her fingertips grazing gently over his jaw. He turned his face to kiss her open palm, his eyes closing as she repeated his previous actions. Randy licked his lips when her movement ceased- their eyes locking as the air between them grew hot with anticipation. Lita sucked in a sharp breath as his face moved closer, hazel eyes still drawn to his probing blue. And just before his mouth descended on hers, she let out a breath; all previous thoughts on the past few weeks flying from her mind.

Their mouths melded together, just as they had many times before. But this time- there would be no one to stop them. No one to worry about.. No sneaking around in the shadows, no slipping out of a hotel room after hours. It was just them, in her living room and on her couch and in the middle of the afternoon at that.. Away from the rest of the roster, away from the prying eyes and ears of her concerned friends. The hand that had been propping his head moved to cup the back of her neck, drawing her closer still to his form. Their kiss grew urgent as he threaded his hand in her hair. Instinctively they shifted so that her back was pressed against the couch cushions. Randy moved his hand from her hair to caress her cheek, his other hand grasping her hip when they parted for the necessary breath. And as Lita opened her clouded eyes to meet his heavy lidded gaze- she couldn't remember when she had closed them. His fingers splayed over her jean clad thigh, his thumb massaging small circles near the waistband. She barely had the time to suck in a sharp breath before his mouth molded to hers once more, her eyes shutting tightly as she gave way to her base wants and innermost desires.

They were more than just a man and a woman this time.

His tongue slipped out, pleading for an entrance which she readily gave. She sighed against him, her hands moving up his sides, over his back before they settled on his shoulders. Their tongues clashed, fighting for dominance; hungrily the kiss ensued. The hand that was on her thigh moved slowly up her side, the tips of his fingers resting beneath her covered breast. She arched against him- his touch sending sparks through her body. Painfully slow, Randy cupped the mound of flesh; his lower body grinding sensuously against hers. Lita's outer leg lifted, bending at the knee before it wrapped tightly around his waist. Randy's face lifted from hers but a moment, the two catching their breath as her hands went to his hair; her fingers threading through his dark brown locks before their lips met again. Their tongues danced again as he slid his hand up her shirt. Her hands moved slowly from his face, resting over his collarbones before they continued to trail down his chest. The redhead's body shuddered as his fingertips danced over her skin- blazing a familiar path upwards until they reached their destination. He cupped her through the satin and lace material of her bra, his mouth moving from hers simultaneously.

Lita's eyes flew open as his lips left hers, the redhead feeling suddenly empty before his mouth closed over her neck. Her fingers massaged his scalp as he lavished his attentions on her neck, the hand that was under her shirt slowly traveling back down. Randy continued his ministrations to the smooth column of her neck, kissing the surface as his mouth danced towards her ear. She titled her head to the side, her body arching as he drew her earlobe between his teeth. The redhead's hands left his hair, her fingernails grazing over the exposed skin of his neck and collarbones. Her hands continued to explore his upper body over the fabric of his shirt before she slid her hands beneath; resting them momentarily on his sculpted abdomen. His mouth moved lower, back to the sensitive pulse point beneath her ear as her fingers danced upwards. All the while, he continued to grind against her, she mimicking his actions with a fevered frenzy. Her outer leg still hooked around his waist, her free limb wedged momentarily beneath his. She managed to free her foot, grazing the bare limb over his calf as they continued to explore one another. Her brain just registered the fleeting touch as his hand moved from her skin. That emptiness returning to her swiftly as the kisses on her neck ceased.

**xoxox**

Through a lust filled gaze, she regarded him. Her mouth parting to speak when he abruptly cut her off with a nod of his head. Realization somehow dawned as he removed his body from hers, their hair mussed from their recent heated encounter. Randy's eyes never left hers as he stood, a hand extending to her when he was on his feet. Almost too readily Lita accepted his hand, his fingers closing over hers as he helped her to her feet. He brought her hand to his face, his lips brushing over her knuckles; a smile forming on his features as he lead her out of the living room. Idly she hoped she had remembered to lock the door, the redhead contemplating if she should take the phone off the hook or just unplug the damned contraption all together. But she did neither, her thoughts too pre-occupied as they made their way to the stairs. Her mind flooded with memories as they walked- she recalling the very first time they had dared to cross the invisible line. The line -not between friends and lovers nor lovers and enemies- but between mere acquaintances and lovers. Had she been in a more coherent state of mind, she may have found their situation odd.. But she wasn't and thus she followed behind him; their hands still joined as they made their way up the steps. No words were spoken between them as he continued on his way- the path all too familiar to them both when he visited her Sanford home.

They paused outside of her bedroom, Randy drawing her closer to him as they stood in the hallway. Lita glanced up at him curiously, her lips parting to speak before his mouth descended. His arms banded around her waist, holding her tighter still as their kiss deepened. She waited for the moment that the bedroom door would open, they stumbling across the threshold as they had done many times before. But when they did, it was not to the bed that they fell. Instead he swept her into his arms, his mouth freeing hers as he made his way to the adjoining bathroom. Wordlessly still, he set her down; his forehead coming to rest against hers.. His breath coming out in a heavy pant before he broke the silence.

"Your shower.." he whispered against her mouth, "Or did you-"

She cut him off as she closed the distance, "I have a better idea.." she whispered against his mouth when she pulled away.

Her eyes held his while she reached for the brass handles of the bathtub, she plugging the drain before the handles were turned. A grin formed on his face as the tub slowly filled, Randy advancing towards her, shutting the door out of habit. They stood before each other in what could be called contemplative silence, her hands resting on his collarbones while his grasped her hips. With calculated movement, he brought her shirt upwards, slowly peeling the cotton fabric from her body. Next he removed her bra, his hands closing over her exposed chest as the lacey garment fell to the floor. Naturally, his next intent was to remove her jeans; but her hands halted his actions before he could proceed. Idly she flicked a glance to the still filling tub; selecting a nearby bottle of her favorite bubble bath. She licked her lips, holding his gaze while she poured a bit of the liquid into the flowing water. When she was satisfied, she capped the bottle, setting it back on the counter before she faced him fully. Again he went to remove her jeans, but again he stopped his actions. A near frustrated look crossed his face before her hands went to the buttons of his dress shirt. Methodically slow, she unbuttoned his shirt, he shrugging his shoulders when the last button was undone.

As the shirt joined the pool of fabric at their feet, she raked her nails lightly over his chest, down his torso until her hands were splayed freely over his abdomen. Their movements in sync, the remainder of their clothing was removed. He held her close to him, she finding the where with all to cease the flowing water- lest the tub overflow. Greedily then, her mouth captured his as they stepped into the tub, sinking slowly into the scented bubbles. His head bowed again as their mouths parted, his forehead resting against hers while she reached behind her for a washcloth. Still, she held his gaze as she dipped the cloth into the water, holding it there until she was satisfied. Her free hand cupped his face before she turned to grab a nearby bottle of body wash. Holding his gaze still, she soaped the washcloth; his hands running freely over her body beneath the surface of the water. Without reservations she cleansed the visible and non visible form in front of her. Moving closer when she ran the washcloth over his back, Lita placed feather light kisses over his face. Wordlessly he took the washcloth from her, reaching behind her to take the body wash on the counter. Achingly slow, he repeated her movements- right down to the kisses on her face when he ran the cloth over the smooth expanse of her back.

That was near enough for the both of them to lose control. But instead they fought their instincts, continuing on- washing one another's hair in a more hurried manner. That task out of the way, he captured her mouth with his. Their kiss had just started to deepen before she pulled back; a coy look on her face as she slowly stood. Droplets of water slid from her body, gathering into small pools on the counter and then on the floor as she moved to the shower stall. Transfixed, he watched her every movement as she turned on the water in the shower. With a suggestive smile, she beckoned him to her; he following as she stepped beneath the flowing water. The hot water washed over them, rinsing their bodies clean of the bubbles and of the body wash. His face dipped as his mouth descended upon hers, his arms banding again around her waist. The water flowed freely over their bodies, hands exploring with no inhibition. Their mouths parted as he pressed her back to the cool surface of the shower stall wall. A small gasp escaping her from the cool contact, his face lowered again- her earlobe drawn between his teeth before he pulled away. The slip of self control she held nearly gave way at the look in his eyes, but she fought against it. Barely able to contain it much longer, the redhead moved to shut off the water.

**xoxox**

Droplets ran down their slick forms as they stood before one another in the bathroom. He held her gaze as she reached behind her for two towels, wordlessly handing him one. He ran the dry surface over her skin, his eyes drinking in the sight of her as if he had never witnessed it. Opposite him, she did the same. Given the frequency of their previous encounters- they had _yet_ to share a moment quite like this. Yet to take the time to _appreciate_ the body they were about to give themselves to. Perhaps in this aspect, this was an entirely new situation to them both. Or at the very least to each other. But the look that mirrored in their eyes was all too familiar, the towels tossed carelessly into the pile of clothing on the floor as he took her hand in his. They locked in a wordless embrace before tumbling to the bed, their mouths melding once more as they lay beside each other. When their kiss was broken, he took her hands in his, intertwining their fingers as he urged her to lay on her back.

Randy remained on his side, his eyes drinking her form in once more; one hand retracting to run down the length of her body. He held her gaze as his hand traveled down the curve of her calf, over her thigh, dangerously upwards to a familiar territory. Lita's eyes screwed tightly shut as his fingers danced lightly over her body; his touch sending sparks of electricity carousing through her veins. Her body arched as he cupped her, stilling moments after. With all of the newness of their first shared kiss, his mouth sought out hers just as a finger probed her body. Her cry was lost in their heated kiss, she writhing as he continued to play a familiar melody. His mouth left hers when a passion filled moan escaped her waiting body, he positioning himself above her. Their eyes locked again, mouths melding as they joined in that all to familiar dance of the ages. The redheads hands flew to grasp his shoulders as he stilled momentarily, their mouths parting for breath before his slow thrusts began.

The minutes passed like hours as he rocked against her, her hips meeting his thrusts to a point. Randy just started to pick up the pace, his mouth leaving hers to latch upon what she supposed was his favorite part of her neck. A familiar pool of heat formed in her being, her head lolling back against the pillows as he slowly brought her to release- his name escaping her mouth on a passion filled cry. Her walls contracting brought upon his own release, her name leaving his lips as he buried his face in her hair. Their bodies sleek with sweat, he collapsed upon her; their breaths leaving them in heavy pants; bodies still joined. Lita wasn't sure when sleep overtook them, she wasn't sure when they left the solace of the bedroom to quench their other hunger. The remainder of the evening, into the night, passed in a lust clouded haze for the Legend Killer and the Queen of Extreme.

No longer just, a man and a woman.

**Authorly note:**

So, there's a first time for every writer, yes? Well this was mine.. I know it probably sucked, but hmm. Consider this my offering to make it up for not updating this story since March. And consider it a holdover until I can find it within me to update this piece again. Now, I just hope I don't get this story removed as a result of what this chapter contained.. But then, whatever. I've read worse (not written just descriptive) and those stories are still up. Enough with my rambling, I hope this chapter wasn't too disappointing.


	9. One Step at a Time

**Self Indulgence**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.. I borrow!

**Spoilers: **Ha..ha…no.

**Rating: **R for explicit content and language

**Summary: **Things aren't always as perfect as they seem….

**Notes: **If it hasn't been said, there will be no Diva search (if I take the piece that far) and I'm ignoring the house shows. I'm still trying to find my creative direction so I can update on a more regular basis.. Your patience is greatly appreciated. I'm still unsure as to the length (series wise anyway) and once I have that figured out, I'll let you know.

**Thanks to: **everyone who reviewed the last chapter and to everyone who has reviewed the story. I can honestly say, I didn't expect to get much feedback, but I appreciate each and everyone of you more than you'll ever know.

**xoxox**

It was in a state of tangled limbs, that Lita awoke late Wednesday morning.. Or maybe it was closer to Wednesday afternoon. The redheaded Diva wasn't quite sure, nor did she really care. Since yesterday afternoon, they had left the comfort of the bed to order take out and use the bathroom. Jeff had called once, to see if the pair was up to hanging out.. And before Lita had the chance to respond, Randy informed him that they were catching up on lost time. Lita, at least, had a moment to tell her amused best friend that they'd hang out with him tomorrow. When exactly, she didn't know.. But tomorrow would be better. Now, she was starting to think that hadn't been a good idea…considering the lack of sleep she had gotten last night. Added to that, she hadn't even gotten out of the bed yet, and from the current state of things.. She might not be moving anytime soon. Two arms, locked rather firmly around her midsection, prevented her from sitting up…and from making any sort of productive movements. Or at least movements that would lead to her getting out of the bed.

"You know, I did tell Jeff we'd hang out with him today." The redhead frowned slightly, "And the alarm clock is over there."

Randy opened an eye, "So? When have you ever known Jeff to be on time for something?"

Lita rolled her eyes at the wall, "Not the point, Randy.. I would like to get dressed at some point."

He shook his head, the grip around her waist tightening. "Give me a good reason why we should move from this bed."

She glanced over her shoulder, "Maybe because we haven't eaten anything since last night? You are the same person who informed me that you're a growing boy.. You had to--"

Randy smirked against the back of her neck, "I did say that and you're right.. We haven't eaten since last night. But you still haven't given me a good reason as to why we should move."

"I'll bite you."

"Kinky," he uttered against her skin, "I owe you one…by the way."

She turned in his embrace, an eyebrow raising at his 'innocent' look. "Don't even think it. Nobody knows about--"

"I know," Randy replied simply. "But that didn't stop me before."

Lita rolled her eyes, "You are too much.." Raising a hand to cup his face, she added wryly, "Sometimes I wonder what I'm gonna do with you."

Randy grinned, a suggestive glint in his eyes. "I can think of plenty of things.. And wouldn't you know it, none of them involve leaving this bed."

Lita shook her head, "As appealing as spending all day lounging around does sound.. I'm afraid it's not happening."

He traced abstract patterns on her lower back, "Why not? Come on, Li. We don't have to be anywhere until Monday."

"Because, that's why.." She waited a beat before adding: "And stop pouting at me.. That face isn't gonna work."

"It's worked every single time.." Randy chuckled at the incredulous look she gave him. "Face the facts, babe.. You can't resist me."

Lita scoffed, "You just keep thinking that.." under her breath she muttered, "cocky bastard."

He raised an eyebrow, "Calling me names again?" A smirk lifted at the corners of his mouth, "You know--"

"Don't finish that sentence," hazel eyes narrowed in mock warning. "Seriously though, we should get dressed."

"Again.. You give me a good reason why and fine.. We'll move." The movement ceased on her back. "I still don't see why, but--"

"If Jeff decides to drop by on a whim, which considering it's Jeff.. He might just do that." Lita held up a hand when he opened his mouth to retort, "I'd rather answer the door fully clothed."

Randy lifted his shoulders in a slight shrug, "I see nothing wrong with what you're wearing now."

"I am not answering the door wearing a bed sheet."

Randy opened his mouth to reply, when the phone started ringing. "Do you want me to answer that?"

Lita glared, "No.. just hand me the phone, please."

"Suit yourself," he reached back, handing the cordless phone to her. With a roll of his eyes, he added: "I'll be quiet now."

Lita rolled her eyes right back, bringing the sheet with her as she sat up against the headboard. "Talk to me.."

"Hey brat," Dawn greeted from her cell phone. "What are you up to?"

"Not much," the redhead replied easily. "I actually just woke up a few minutes ago."

"Uh huh.." Dawn stated somewhat disbelievingly, "Don't tell me you forgot.."

"Forgot what?"

Dawn rolled her eyes at the phone, "Mini trip.. Remember? Up to Pennsylvania or something? It's one of the few things that you and John actually agreed on last week when we talked about doing something between shows and stuff."

"Oops?" Lita responded weakly, the redhead pausing to swat Randy's hand away. "Where are you two?"

"At a gas station in Raleigh." Dawn paused to sweep her hair from her face, "We would've been there by now, but the car obviously ran out of gas."

Lita nodded at the phone, her free hand closing over Randy's wrist. "Cut that out.." she hissed quietly. "Umm.. Dawn? When do you think you'll get here?"

"As long as genius here, doesn't get lost.." Dawn rolled her eyes at John. "It shouldn't be too much longer.. An hour at most."

Lita squeaked, "Can you hold on a minute?" She didn't bother to wait for a reply, one hand cupping the phone. "Ya know.. You're making it really hard for me to carry on a simple conversation."

Randy shrugged, "Then you shouldn't have bitten me last night.. I told you I'd get you back for that."

The redhead rolled her eyes, "Did you have to pick now? I'm kinda on the phone, here."

He made an open gesture with his hands, "I'm not stopping you."

"If you could keep your hands and your teeth to yourself, I'd appreciate it." She sent him one last warning glare, before she brought the phone back to her ear. "I'm really sorry about that Dawn.."

Dawn smirked, tossing her hair over her shoulder as the car pulled out of the gas station. "Tell Randy we said hi." Shaking her head she added: "I take it he's coming with us?"

"Why the hell not," Lita rolled her eyes at the ceiling, "Look.. I have to call Jeff and cancel whatever plans he had.. Plus, I need to take a shower so, I'll see you when you get here."

"Alright.. We'll see you two in an hour."

Lita waited until she heard the dial tone, the blanket wrapped around her bare form as she moved from the bed.

"Where are you going?"

She tossed a glance over her shoulder, "To take a shower.. Dawn and John will be here in an hour."

Randy nodded, "And where are the three of you going?"

"Camping," she replied from the bathroom, the redhead currently standing in front of the mirror. "You can come with us.. If you want, anyway." She leaned forwards, craning her neck slightly to examine the mark on her neck. "Damn it."

Randy stood behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder. "You know Dawn and John won't judge you for that." He waited a beat, "And why are you going camping in the middle of winter?"

"It's either camping or skiing.. Something like that. If we go skiing we're heading up to Pennsylvania." Lita shrugged, "Either way I do need to take a shower. And I have to call Jeff and--"

He pried her hands loose from the blanket. "Then take your shower.."

**xoxox**

With nothing else holding up the blanket, it soon pooled into a pile of fabric at the redhead's feet. But, since they did have to meet up with Dawn and John soon, the two settled for separate showers. Both knowing full well that showering together would just lessen their chances of meeting Dawn and John on time. And while Lita was taking her shower, Randy called Jeff. Granted, Jeff was more than a little skeptical about the phone call, but the Cameron native accepted the excuse easily enough. In turn, Randy informed the redhead that he had already called Jeff; Lita getting dressed while Randy took his shower. And by the time he was halfway through his shower, the doorbell rang. Lita silently thanked the person who invented turtleneck shirts, the redhead hastily making her way downstairs to let Dawn and John inside.

"Come on in," Lita opened the door, standing to the side so the two could enter. "I'd offer you coffee but.. I haven't made any yet.. Where are we heading again?"

"Snow's good in Pocono, so were thinking of heading up to Alpine Mountain or Jack Frost." Dawn replied as she took a seat. "Where's Randy?"

Lita flopped down on the couch, "He's taking a shower, actually."

Dawn nodded, "And have you two made up your minds about whatever it is you're doing?"

"Sort of," the redhead rolled her shoulders. "We haven't really talked about it yet, but--"

The brunette Diva sighed, "Li.. Honey, you have got to do something. I talked to Vikki after you just up and disappeared."

"I needed some time to think," Lita stated calmly. "I had wanted to get some time alone but…he followed me."

Dawn almost looked impressed, "That's a start then.." She crossed her arms over her chest, "And what about Stacy?"

"About that," the redhead grimaced. "There's something you really need to know.."

Dawn raised an eyebrow, "Oh? We have some time before we--"

"Dawn.. John.." Randy greeted as he walked downstairs, waiting until he had taken a seat with the redhead. "How're you two?"

Dawn sent the redhead a look, "We'll talk later.." her attention drifted back to Randy, "We're good, thanks."

John offered a nod, "'Sup?"

Randy shrugged in response, one arm draping loosely over the redhead's shoulders. "Could be better.. Could be worse."

"Like I just told Li, we're heading up to Pocono… or at least somewhere that these two can hit the slopes." Dawn gestured between Lita and John, before she directed a warm smile to Randy, "You're more than welcome to join us."

The third generation wrestler nodded easily, "Sounds like fun.."

Lita bridged her hands together, "We could just see if one of the places over in West Virginia has space available."

Dawn nodded, "If you have phone numbers handy.."

"If I don't, I'm sure Jeff does.." Lita rested a hand on Randy's thigh, "Could you hand me the phone and--"

Randy handed her the phone first, "Jeff wanted to talk to you, anyway."

The redhead raised an eyebrow, "He didn't believe you, did he."

"Nope," Randy rolled his eyes. "Didn't believe a damn thing, I said."

Lita smiled wryly, rising from the couch, "I can't say I'm too surprised.." She offered an apologetic smile to the three in the living room, heading then to the kitchen to call Jeff.

The brunette Diva turned her attention to Randy, "Since I haven't had the chance to talk to Li yet.. How are things really going?"

"Like I said already.." Randy leaned forwards a touch, "It could be better, but it could be worse."

Dawn shook her head, "I'd like a real answer.." Raising an eyebrow, she added: "I'm not going to judge the two of you.. I think you should've handled things differently but, you can't do much about it now."

The third generation wrestler nodded, "I don't really know what's going on. I want to be with her--"

"Li?"

Randy rolled his eyes in spite of it all, "If I didn't want to be with her, I wouldn't be sitting here right now."

"True," Dawn conceded with a nod. "So, what happens now? Are you two together or what?"

He shifted slightly under the brunette's scrutinizing gaze. "We haven't talked about it yet."

Dawn sighed, "Well you should.. I don't mean to pressure either one of you, but.. You should sit down and talk about it. Figure out what happens. I'm not saying you should make a long term commitment here, because honestly, I don't think either of you are ready for that.." She smoothed down sleeves of her sweater, "At the very least, you two should sort things out.. For both of your sakes."

"We will talk about it," Randy threaded a hand through his hair. "It's just, right now.. I'd rather just take things day by day."

Dawn sat back in the chair she was occupying, "Do you love her?"

Randy shook his head, "Funny as it may seem.. We don't know each other well enough. I care about her, I care about what happens to her, but--"

Dawn held up a hand, "That's all I need to know.." Her eyes softened a fraction, "Li will be getting the same third degree here, so.."

"I kinda figured," Randy rolled his shoulders. "I've already been warned by Jeff, Matt and Shane.. I'm expecting the same from Victoria, Chris Jericho and probably Chris Benoit."

Dawn smirked, "That sounds about right.. It's just.. None of us want to see either of you getting hurt. Admittedly, yes, we're looking out more for Li but--"

Randy held up a hand, "I understand, alright? I won't make promises that I can't keep, but I'll be damned if I do hurt her in any way."

Dawn gauged the look on his face, scrutinizing him carefully for any signs of falsehood. "If you do.. I know Jeff, Matt, Chris, Chris and Shane will be after your ass like white on rice. You can damn well bet I'll be right alongside them."

"Jeff's dropping off his season passes for us.." Lita mentioned as she walked back into the living room. "They're for Winterplace Ski Resort in Ghent, West Virginia."

Dawn nodded, "Do they have rentals and stuff?"

"Yeah, they also have snow tubing if you aren't up for skiing." Lita set the phone back on it's base. "There's a few hotels in the area, too .. One of them should have openings."

John sent her a questioning look, "You got directions or something?"

"I know how to get there," Lita replied confidently, the redhead soon finding herself re-seated on the couch. "We'll probably have to stop in Greensboro or Winston Salem before we hit the West Virginia state line."

The West Newbury native nodded, "So long as one of us knows where we're goin'.. thanks to Dawn here, I got lost."

Dawn rolled her eyes, "If you had just stopped and asked for directions.. Or taken the directions I had given you, we wouldn't have gotten lost."

Lita snorted, "A guy taking directions? Keep on dreamin' Dawn."

"Alright then, know it all.." John crossed his arms over his chest, "Since you women think you don' need no directions.. You drive us there."

"Whatever," the redhead shrugged it off easily. "I don't really care either way.. But, I do need to pack before we go."

Dawn waved the Sanford resident upstairs, "If you aren't down here by the time Jeff stops by, I'll take the passes."

Lita grinned in response, she and Randy exiting the living room shortly after.

The brunette waited until they were upstairs, "I hope they know what they're doing.."

"Dawn, baby.." John moved from his spot, perching instead on the arm of the chair the brunette Diva was occupying. "You jus' gotta let them be. I know you're only tryin' to look out for Lita, but give 'em some space."

"I know that, John.." she rested her head on his knee, "I'm just worried.. I don't want to see her get hurt and--"

He rolled his eyes good naturedly, "I know you're worried.. But just let 'em be. They obviously got a lot to sort through right now.. An' I doubt they need ya helping."

Dawn half nodded, "I'll try to back off.. " at his dubious snort she added: "I will. I've kept my nose out of it until this point, as is."

John nodded in response, the two falling into a comfortable silence soon enough. And that brief moment of silence was interrupted both by the front door opening and by a pair of footsteps coming downstairs. Dawn took the liberty of collecting the passes from Jeff, the redhead following behind her to make a small request from her best friend. John and Randy, meanwhile, gathered suitcases… the two passing by Lita and Jeff to load the car. Once Lita was finished speaking with Jeff, she and Dawn exited the house.. John tossing the car keys to the redhead. In turn, Lita slipped into the driver's seat with Dawn and John taking the back seat. And once Randy was settled in the passengers seat, Lita backed the car out of the driveway. While it certainly was nice to take a little break from the normal hustle and bustle, Lita wasn't entirely looking forward to the mini trip. Granted, spending time with her friends was nice.. And of course, spending the time with Randy would be most welcomed. She wasn't, however, looking forward to the inevitable conversation with Dawn. The redhead knew full well that Dawn wouldn't take the news lightly, but the brunette Diva needed to know, none the less. Lita could only hope that Dawn wouldn't lash out on her.


End file.
